Sunday, March 31, 2013

Fuck good Friday.

Didn't go to work on Friday night.  I knew it would suck.

Tonight was pretty slow.  I didn't stay long.  No point.  The club was about half a usual Saturday crowd.  Yep, men with money gotta go to church tomorrow.

Even good months can have bad endings.  Oh well.  C'mon April, be awesome this year.

Friday, March 29, 2013

There's the wall.

It's officially the end of the month.  I did shitty tonight.  All the bitches came to work, and not enough guys came to pay.

And the candy man was there.  Of course.  He is always there to see me do bad on a Thursday late in the month.  So I ate all his candy to curb my frustration in the same manner a chain smoker would smoke.  I'd make a few rounds, get the same bullshit excuses and raid the skittles.

I think I'm gonna do some butt lift to make up for the lack of exercise I got from working.  That'll cheer me up.  So would a good Friday.  God, tomorrow is "Good Friday."  I did so fucking shitty last Good Friday.  I hope that isn't the case this year.  We shall see.  I might dip out if it fucking sucks in the first hour.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Working too late

Fuck, it's almost 9 in the morning and I haven't gone to bed yet.  I have been going to bed before sunrise until last weekend.  I slept til 7 p.m.  I've been sleeping in too late, but my body can't help but get a ton of sleep after three busy nights.  I hate wasting Sundays, but that is what I do.  Sigh.  And everything closes before I wake up.  I fucking hate Sundays.  They make me feel lazy cuz I never get shit done.

OMG I hate the darkness.  I think I'm gonna flip my cycle this week.  Don't give a fuck, I need SUNSHINE.

I better get some rest.  Can you tell I'm a bit cranky?

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Luck, green, Irish, drunks, D-bags

Awesome.  Tonight was just as good as last night money wise.  But the guys were much nastier than usual.

I started out good with a (wouldn't ya know it) Bostonian bread winner.  Even he was creepy, but tolerable.

Guys were really having a hard time paying full price so I was doing a lot of wheel and deal chains with guys that were kind of crappy to dance for.   They stunk bad and kept trying to invade my nipples.  Ugh get off my weak spots!  And for God's sake, don't lick me!

Let's not get me started on the people at the stage.  I'm getting completely sick of rubbing my boobs in someone's face for one measly dollar.  Even two.  But one guy turned his back to the stage, laid back and put a dollar on his face, and looked at me, waiting to come down to him and take that dollar off his face with my tits.  And there were plenty of other tippers willing to give me more dollars for less effort.  So I had more fun making more money, while laughing on the inside of how long that guy sat there looking like a stupid ass with that dollar on his face.

Another guy wanted me to suck on a lollipop and give me a whole FIVE DOLLARS if I stuck it in my pussy.  I told him I'd suck on it, but not shove it in.  I did a short little suck show and stretched out my garter to collect my tip and he wouldn't give me anything saying, "You didn't do it, not til you do it."

I stood up, said, "thanks for the lollipop," and moved on to the next paying customers.  People were so obnoxious.

I didn't have any dumb St. Patrick's day bullshit.  Other than every customer being fucking hammered.  I started the night out in pink and changed into my pretty green lingerie later in the night.

One guy tried to trade weed for a lap dance.  Tempting, but I can't have that shit on me in the club.  I could totally smell what he had, too.

This young hot shot (showing off his nice abs) was giving all the girls such a hard time about charging more money.  It's like, you get charged full or double if you're acting like a fucking douche bag.  So when he asked me how much one dance would be, I said $30, knowing he wasn't gonna accept that.  He was like, "No, that's bullshit," and walked away, looked at the manager and said, "How does this girl ask for $30 when I just got a dance from another girl for $20?!" 

My manager is super chill and said, "They charge what they want." 

The dude left.  None of us wanted his cheap ass anyway.  Business was too good to be stressed out over dudes like him.

I've had some kick ass nights lately.  Time to relax and treat myself.  See ya next week.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

White Friday

It's like, the opposite of black Friday.  This is when all the guys are at the club.  Spring break.

I got a lot of college boys tonight.  And bachelors.  Not a lot of old men.  Figures since I work night shift.  11:30 to 5:15 tonight.  Not bad.

It was fantastic.  I'm going to enjoy the fuck out of March if I keep having nights like this.  Oh how I dread the summer, but I have a feeling that the economy is getting a little better... And maybe it won't be as painful as last year.

So to start my night out right I got on stage in my white lingerie... Funny how at least two other girls had the exact color scheme as me.  Black heels and white lingerie.  And on that stage, I made my house fee and then some.  Someone had made it rain!  Fuck yeah.  That was like FUEL INJECTION!


There were some dead spots in the night, let's make no mistake, I think there is always some kind of downtime in a night at work.  It's never at the same time.  And some girls were getting frustrated.  I could've been frustrated with them, but I just kept thinking, "I WANT this to be a good night.  All the odds are in my favor.  I'm gonna get a good customer tonight.  He is here.  We just haven't met."

And bam, wouldn't you know it, last customer of the night was a bread winner.  Another college boy. So young and stupid.  I'm starting to notice the age gap.  I was five years older than this guy, and I was laughing on the inside at how obviously inexperienced he was with women.  But he spent like a real gentleman for his age.  I know how it is to be a broke college student.

So yeah, I'm happy to be a stripper right now!  So happy that tomorrow is Saturday!  Time to finish strong.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Fuck yes, I love March.

I love it when Thursdays turn out good.

I had another awesome night.  There were lots of guys here on spring break.  I love northerners.  Tonight's bread winner was from Scotland.

Ya know what was also really awesome?  All the guys who bought lap dances were asking if I'd be working tomorrow.  Uh, fuck yeah I'm working!  Especially now that all these fans will be coming along with the Friday crowd.

The going is obviously good right now.  I'm gonna keep coming back.  I'll have more news tomorrow and Saturday.  I'm super excited.  I hope I break more records.  These next two nights are prime for that.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Signing up for school

...during spring break.  Yep yep, more things are falling into place.

I got my acceptance letter in the mail.  Even though I've already attended this college, it resembled the feeling of when I got my very first acceptance letter during my senior year in high school.  I didn't feel much accomplishment from it, but it's a sign of progress.

I got my financial aid filled out and my college has received it.  They just need to get my updated transcripts so I can see an advisor, pick my classes and go when it's time.  Fall is still a long time from now, but I know from experience that the fall semester arrives much sooner than later.

I love having the jump on these things.  I remember the pains of not turning in stuff on time.  No more stupid kid mistakes.  I'm much more grown up this time around.

I even started looking up free refresher courses for chemistry and other sciences.  Needless to say, it's been a while since I took chemistry.  I miserably failed the practice tests.

In other news, I've been half-assing my butt lift.  I didn't do it on the days I worked, but I don't feel too bad for substituting exercise from work.  I skipped Sunday for a hot salty bath and got back into it today.  Day 60 is coming up this week.  That's the time I'm supposed to evaluate my progress, take measurements and my "after" picture.  I never really took the "before" picture, though.  But I can say my tummy is flatter and my thigh fat is almost gone.  My ass is smaller, but it's still big enough to fail the stupid pencil test.  But not by much.  I still have a big, nice booty from all these workouts.

I'm pretty excited for what the future holds.  It's been a while since I've been excited about the future. I'm happy to say I'm going back to become a doctor. 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Spring took my power hour

I lost 2-3, probably one of my busiest hours.  I got that extra hour back in wonderful October.  The thing is, I didn't need that lost hour anyway.

I had another good Saturday.  I love March.  I love Pisces.  Life is good.

I danced for a lot of douche bags tonight.  No one wanted to be my bread winner.  But there were plenty of customers.  Probably too many.  At one point I got nauseous from either exhaustion or all the stinky men.  It was time for a break.

I had some oatmeal and got back to work.  After I came back, some soldier wanted to redeem his military ticket, and apparently no dancer wanted to.  I don't blame them.  That made him so pleasantly surprised when I said I'd do a dance.  He tipped me enough singles to pay for a dance so it wasn't any sweat off my back.  I guess it pays to be generous, or "kind-hearted" in his words.

Apparently the sun has been shining and I've been making that hay.  Here we go, spring break.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

I love reggaeton!

Dame la gas-o-LEAN-ah!

I can't stop shakin my hips.  I was having so much fun tonight.  It started out kind of dead, but that changed pretty quickly.  I avoided all the anti-lap-dance zombie loser dudes and kept looking for someone who wanted some action.


I had a cappuccino and I think I'm still wired from it.  I wish we were open later because I still feel like dancing.  I almost stopped by the after hours place but I don't work there.  I wouldn't really want to spend the money I just made to go dance with a bunch of coke heads since that's what I was already doing.  All good nights must come to an end, I suppose.

Ah, I won't deny, you know my hips don't lie...

I love my butt lift workout.  I look awesome.  I'll have more good news tomorrow night.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Zero Thursday

I usually work Thursday nights, and I also usually skip them.  There's something about Thursday nights in the beginning of the month.  Almost every time I've tried working the first Thursday of the month, I failed.

Not to say March hasn't already been pleasantly surprising so far, but if the all the days were double digit numbers, I'd tend to stay away from the club on days that begin with zero.  Like Thursday, March 07.  I don't wanna miss Friday and Saturday, though.  I love the weekend.

Life has been good not working all this week.  I've been pulling the strings to get back into school.  There's this thing called taxes that I've gotta file if I want financial aid again.  I owe.  It sucks.  That's the price I pay for not working a McJob.  I almost want a McJob.

But I know nothing bad ever happens from paying taxes.  Uncle Sam is getting a little richer while making one more stripper a little poorer.  The tax evader in me hates my conscience.  I just think its totally unfair.  I think I pay enough tax when I buy shit.  Why can't that be enough?  Why can't my student loan payments be enough?  I recycle plenty of money back to the government.  Ugh.  Taxes suck.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Thank you, God!?

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

C'mon, hum that Usher song in your head if you know it.  I wanna set the theme right for tonight.  

I was a winner tonight!  One man seemed to have quite the disposable budget and got "addicted" to me.  I was vicious.  I took total advantage like a good corporate stripper.  Too easy.  

Thank you, Saturday night!  You were there for me this week!  

The club was packed with a lot of losers tonight.  If I didn't have that easy guy, I probably would've done terrible tonight.  It was hard to filter through all the bachelor entourages.  None of their buddies wanted to play.  So I was getting a little bit of crowd anxiety.  


Lots of lady customers came in and tipped me a lot on stage.  I love it when the ladies are good to me!  

I think I officially hate 8" shoes.  My feet fucking hurt.  One jackass customer said he was "eight inches" and I just laughed because I thought that about my heels.  I honestly just wanted to have an occasional red heel AND an occasional 8" pair.  And tonight's color was red.  So it was time to take the red 8-inchers out for a night.  

This jackass... He came to me, bugged me to get him off.  I didn't say I would, I just sold him a "dance."  He was being sloppy, drunk, rude, too rough, bugging me to have sex with him.  I just wanted it to be over and I got fed up after song 3 and he didn't want to pay because I didn't get him off.  And that's when I brought out my brass balls and got straight to business.  He was trying to get out of paying, lying to me.  I was not getting fucked.  I called him out.

See he paid me for two songs after song two, then suddenly changed his mind after paying and said he'd pay for another song.  And I really didn't want to do it, but an easy sell is an easy sell, so I did the next song.  I was tired of him trying to use me as a blow up doll and I just wanted to get the fuck away from him, but I wanted MORE MONEY.

So I said, "Look, I need to get on stage, this is my song.  You need to pay me for the last dance you said you'd buy."

"But I gave you (2x) dollars," the jackass retorted.

"No, you gave me (1x) dollars for the first two songs," I argued as I showed him the money I was still holding onto.  "So you still need to pay for the third song I just did."

"But I didn't get off."

"I never promised it would happen, just said it might."

He finally gave me the money and I took the fuck off.  Peace!  I fast forward walked away.

Don't fuck with this fish!  I am sharp, and I don't fucking play games.

I feel like a total bad ass.  I got paid to be hot.  I'm so spoiled.  I treasure these nights.  When I have bad nights I think of nights like this.  It's why I keep coming back.