Haven't gone cold yet

I am surprised this blog still gets page views.  Must be the wealth of content or I have a few stalkers.  

Well, lately I've been working weekends here and there.  I just finished finals for the spring.  Good grades, still no job.  Probably because I strip.  Recruiters probably recognize me and I'm on a blacklist that I don't know about.  "Don't hire her, she's a stripper!"  There's nothing more awkward than running into a college recruiter at the strip club.  

I feel so fucked sometimes.  But I keep telling myself I can quit stripping and do something else.  Been telling myself this for the past two years.  

So I'll be grinding during the summer, wishing I had a full-time position in my field of education that pays around $20 an hour.  Maybe I'll go troll LinkedIn.  

This sounds depressing.  The truth is I'm not that unhappy with life.  Deep down, I still think lap dances are a lot easier than working full time during the day.  It beats working, but does nothing for my future, which is why I'm hard on myself now.  

Part of me just wants to pursue my other pipe dream and become a Hollywood actress, but I don't personally know James Cameron, J.J Abrams, Martin Scorcese or any of their colleagues.  Another part of me wishes society would catch up with the digital age and stop being so uptight about nudity.  So what if I'm a stripper?  It doesn't make me any less qualified than some other person who doesn't strip.  Shit makes me want to start a cultural revolution.  Make nudity okay, and make marijuana legal in the United States.  Catch up, America.  I don't wanna fucking move to Colorado.

March and all its madness

Good god, it's been a busy month.  Real life and stripper life.  Well, Friday was kinda ugh except for one hero who saved me from a shitty night.  But Saturday was good.  Only one rapey customer.  I could have just killed him.  Grabbed my tit like a stress ball and would not stop hounding me for my phone number.  I almost broke down and gave him my club's number just to kindly reject him but pushed me too far.  The fact that I'm writing about him, paying attention to the memory of it all, just kills me.  The best thing about it though, is the fact that the rest of the night was a lot better in every way.  I finally got to dance with a cute Asian guy, he looked like my ex so much, smelled great, spent a lot... I was in space.  I think I like my job too much.  Or March is clearly the best month of the year hands fucking down!  My only regret is skipping as many nights that I did.  Just tired... Or lazy.  Both.  I just wanna sleep at midnight instead of work, but the money is just too good.  I'm a slave to this cash cow, even if it's only a few hours a week.  I think that's why I enjoy it and find it relatively easy now.  These last few months I've been very happy at work.  My judgment for creeper is almost 100%.  Only one guy I danced for was a complete jackass.  Lately I've been more choosy about who I dance with.  Probably because I come to work so fucking late, well after the rush has hit.  I just can't do dead club.  I'm dreading the rest of the year.  God.  Summer please don't suck.  I hope I'm out of this job soon.  I need to move on.  Fuck.  I have come so far in school and the field I'm training for is conservative and recruiters wouldn't like the fact I'm a nude lap dancer, and I'm getting closer to finding a new job.  As easy as this job is, I can't do it forever, and part of me is sad that it doesn't last, but the other part of me is ready to make money without taking off my clothes.  I have so much education, it MUST pay off.  The time for that is soon.  I'm sad I won't have fresh content for this blog, but like any story, it has a beginning, middle and end.  The end is near.  I wish I knew the phone number that loser customers can dial and it just plays a recording with some words of encouragement such as "kill yourself, you fucking pig, end it now."

Still grinding

Haha, this past weekend was good.  I lucked out on Saturday,  and Friday was a tough night up until the end.  Friday, I felt like I couldn't make a connection with anyone, and I was ice cold towards everyone because NOTHING about them impressed me, and I just could not fake it.  PMS?!

Must be, because Saturday I could've ravaged anyone, in a good way.  And I also had lesser competition because apparently girls must think Valentine's Day sucks and I could understand.  Nothing but beautiful straight couples, which seemed hard to impress, but I had to just go with it and make that straight girl go bi for a few minutes in front of her man.  Totally fine by me.  I love dancing for women and the trick is to make sure SHE is having fun.  Ladies first, all about the girls in my kind of club.  

Gonna go back to work again this weekend and hope for the same kind of luck.  

More like Bella Slack

All this effort towards school has kept me out of the club, especially over the past few weeks.  Some bug is going around, so I was out sick for an entire weekend.  Needless to say, I must get my ass back in the club and HUSTLE.  My bills don't care if I'm sick.  My lenders especially don't care.

Today is Friday the 13th.  Now I'm not superstitious, but should I go to work?  Of course!  Not only am I in financial despair, but wouldn't it be so awesome if my luck turned out to be good?  My pessimism will keep reminding me it's Friday the 13th if I end up doing shitty, because every Friday, too many girls show up to work anyway and higher competition means less easy guys to go around.  I wanna do double dances with other chicks.  Last time I did that, it felt so easy making money.  Gotta love bisexuality.  I mean, I never TELL my co-workers I'm into chicks, but we are all actresses who would most likely go gay for pay.  Perhaps I have too much faith in them or I'm dead on.

Happy Friday the 13th, keep your black cats safe, your ladders put away, tape your mirrors if you're paranoid AND superstitious.

Mornings and night shift

I work late on weekends.  I get up early for school during the week.  My body hates it.  Having to get up too early is the worst feeling.  It's not as bad as staying up really late.  I'm excited for when I become a morning person when I quit for good.  :)

My body is getting loose.  I need to stop skipping the gym.  Laziness.  I miss my personal trainer but I've had to cut back on spending because shit is getting more expensive and I'm not charging more money.  I just wanna bitch slap the customers that whine about $25 or $30 dances.  Don't be surprised that I also adjust for inflation!  I understand why they still go for $20... Supply and demand is a bitch.  Overall, there's a sharp decrease in demand once the price goes over $20.  Sigh.

Back to school, work, life

Vacations are never long enough.  That's why I'm chasing the profession that has the most vacation time out of the year.  I like working hard when I'm working so that I can get more time off for vacation.

Anyway, so work has been pretty slow (too many girls honestly) these past few weekends after new years.  I know better to not expect much.  I've been earning less than average, so money is tight because it seems like this is when all the prices and things go up.  Like fucking health insurance.  Story of our lives, though.

Story of my life last night.  It was particularly dead so I took a break and came back for the last hour. First guy I talk to when I get back is someone I thought I saw on Friday night.  So I'm acting like he's a returning customer and what's weird is that the guy on Friday gave me a massage, and he was a complete noob.  It's so crazy, he was wearing the same type of glasses frames, was bald, close to my age... I really thought he was the same guy from last night, but one huge difference was massage talent.  I asked him, "where was this last night?" and he tells me he wasn't at my club last night.  At that moment I realized he was not the same guy.  I hate confusing people for someone else, it's such a customer service fail.  But he was laughing about it and carried on with his magical massage.  I've only had a massage from one person in my whole life who was as good as this guy, so I decided to spend my last hour getting some myofascial release.  It's a close second to making money from drunk weirdos during the last hour.  I hope he comes back, lol.  I always invite them to return but only like 2% of the time they actually do.

I'm thinking this year 2015 is gonna be my last year dancing.  I'm hoping to retire for good after I graduate in December.  Then it'll be time to intern full time and go from there.  Master's degree probably soon after.  I love school, and I believe I can handle it.  Competition in the non-stripping workforce is even fiercer than the competition at the club.  Just now, I gotta be better looking on paper instead of in person.

December

A month of joy for many, and a month of SPENDING on everything but lap dances... 

So this is the month where I have been trying so desperately to convince myself it's not shitty, even though the club has been mad slow for MONTHS or maybe my game has slipped while I busted my ass in school, sacrificing work nights to have enough energy to earn the grades I need to be taken seriously in my next career.  So yeah, I've been spending a lot of time on school and I'm loving all the shit I learn.  It's fun and interesting to apply knowledge from business school to stripping concepts.  It inspires me to revolutionize stripping.  But before I write down all my hopes and dreams, let's get back to the club.  

Tonight was not a bad night.  I'm working extra hours to make up for all the shitty one-night-a-week income before Christmas robs me.  I don't normally work Wednesdays but it was Wednesday on a whim and I did a fuck ton of lap dances tonight.  Bah hahaha my ass doing the work for me.  I think it's "micro bootie shorts" that make my ass look amazing.  Every time I went on stage it yielded a dance or two after getting off.  Haha.  The club was slow but I wasn't having trouble staying busy.  

Idk what it was but I just refused to believe Wednesday night was gonna be some bullshit weeknight.  I swam with the sharks that work every night and it happened to be a good night for me, because I played tonight like a clean run of Mozart's Turkish March!  Hardly any downtime, just perfectly paced, and no big fuck ups.  I've also had time to play the brain games... Maybe that's why I was so on point tonight.  I've also had time to rest, and watch Netflix... 

I love the semester break!  It's much needed.  Funny thing about school topics integrated into stripping... Last weekend was mostly shitty, like tonight I did better than I did on Friday and Saturday night.  But the one not-shitty moment on Friday night I met this hot tech guy from California and it was so much fun to impress him with all my knowledge and experience with databases!  He was the kind of guy that makes this job hardly feel like work.  Too bad I never saw him again.  Perhaps it's for the best.  I am already spoken for.  It is a job, after all.  Maybe it's a job that one shouldn't be too good at.  Once I leave that club, the mask comes off, the game is over, back to being plain old me, who needs to pay those pesky bills and has the body to do it successfully.  I'm enjoying it while it lasts.  It's been a good run.  I'm gonna work tomorrow night then it's off to vacation land.  I'll probably work New Years after that.  Christmas is gonna leave me dry and I've taken off the last few new years.  I hear good stories from some chicks.  Maybe 2015 is when my tide comes in!  I gotta hit the gym!  I want to look good when it comes.