Half empty or half full?

I've been sitting here trying to think of what stood out to me... oh.

The fact that I made half as much as I made last night.  That kind of sucks.  I guess I brought it upon myself.  I made mistakes tonight.  I wasted a lot of time.  Many customers weren't tipping and I didn't feel like beating it out of them. 

It just sucks to make half as much because when I think of it, I got shot down twice as much.  I got too many no's.  Stupid Saturday night.  I expected to do better tonight. 

A particular regular customer has lost interest in me and is now giving money to Whoreface, one of my co-workers.  I don't know why I call her that... I just don't like her.  I'm jealous, that's what it is.  I don't know the girl, but she's just better than me in ways I wish I was better.  I'm just pissed I haven't risen to her level yet.  I know she makes more money than me.  She has better game.  I want better game.

Perhaps it's the player - me.  I think I just played a piss poor game tonight, unlike last night.  I shouldn't have spent the most amount of time with the guys that paid the least.  Bad move. 

Guess I'll just have to do better next time.

I rode a girl and I liked it!

So I gave a lap dance to my very first female customer last night!  Boy, did she love it.  She had her hips tilted forward so my ass could hit her clit real good.  She got really into it, but the best part was I wasn't disgusted by her!  She was a little handsy but she didn't cross any lines.  Actually, the best part was she tipped me very well.

I wore my gun shoes and I forgot how heavy they are!  They felt like lead weights attached to my feet.  Thing is, I don't think any of the "metal" on my shoes is really metal.  So that doesn't really make sense. 

I've really gotta get back in shape.  Even when I take five days off, you would think that only five days you wouldn't lose strength.  Well, you do.  If you work out all the time, a day or two off is cool, but not five.  I'm slower on the pole and the tricks seem to be harder.  I just don't fly up the pole like I used to when I climb it.  Grr!  Brrawr!  I gotta become a beast again. 

Well, I'm sure that will happen since I have another deadline to make a certain amount of cash before my interest rate goes through the roof.  It's a pretty big goal to reach, too.  I'm going to have to work like, 4 days a week minimum.  I'm not sure how that's going to work.  I don't think I've ever worked that many days in a week.  Well, I probably have and I was probably regretting it. 

I remember when I'd save my work nights for Thursday through Saturday nights.  I'd be okay on Thursday, dancing with no problems, doing awesome pole tricks and my knees didn't hurt.  But on Friday I'd be pretty sore and by Saturday night my knees would be pretty bruised, my muscles would ache so bad and my  morale would be low.

Speaking of low morale, I've noticed that my low self-esteem is starting to show at work.  Or maybe it's the frustration of not getting laid.  Someone actually told me I needed to get laid.  And he wasn't joking.  But I think if I don't get any, I get depressed.  It shouldn't be like that.  I need to be okay, dick or no dick. 

I thought that I might be bipolar, because I'm just waiting for my mania phase to come back and get me out of this depression slump!  When I'm in my mania phase, I let the stripper side of me take over.  The stripper side of me is a ruthless, heartless bitch who gets things done, feelings aside.  She's the outgoing person that does all the things my shy side is too scared to do.  My shy side is the one that keeps me out of trouble, though, but has no balls. 

I know you're probably thinking, jeez girl, get help!

The 4th was good.

Not the 5th.

Because none of the girls would dare work on the 4th of July. So it was nice and quiet, the few customers that came were good spenders.

The problem with tonight was the fact that all the girls that worked there blew all their cash on the 4th and needed to work the next night. So on a slow ass Tuesday night, we had tons of girls, but not enough guys. Most businesses call it blowing labor, except the club doesn't pay us a wage so they could care less. The more the merrier.

Seriously, what's wrong with more tits n ass?

I'm taking tomorrow off. My body has had enough. But I must go back on Thursday. I am not satisfied with the amount of cash I've made.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me. 

Right now, I'm not smiling.  For a Friday, I didn't make that much.  And it's partly because I got stiffed.  I did a lap dance for someone and he didn't pay me.  So I felt really fucked.  But I just had to convince myself that's it's just one dance.  Not worth getting bent out of shape over. 

Well, it happened again.  This time for two songs.  I got ripped off double time.  Don't I learn my lesson?!  I feel so fucking stupid for letting this happen to me.  I'm just really mad. 

If you're a guy reading this, don't ever stiff a stripper.  I know you'll probably never see the bitch again, but it's fucking bad karma.  If you don't believe in karma, and you've stiffed a dancer, you deserve to die.  For one thing, it's bad to be cheap, especially in a strip club.  Not one man has any business being cheap.  And if you're a woman, stay in the car if you don't want to see your man waste what would've been the house payment, or gas money, or whatever you could've spent it on.  We hate watching you stop him from giving us money. 

Ugh, I want to talk more hatefully about ass holes that stiff strippers.  Yes, we're fools for not charging up front.  But don't do girls over like that.  The reason we don't charge up front is that guys get huffy and only wanna pay for one when we ask up front (which needs to stop).  If you wanna play you gotta pay.  And he might've spent more if we didn't seem so greedy when all we're really doing is covering our own ass.

But after getting screwed out of getting paid for three lap dances, it adds up.  Guys don't realize that I don't really do that many lap dances throughout the night.  Just because the amount of money we charge per song adds up to more than $300 an hour, doesn't mean we make $300 an hour, adding up to about two grand a night if that were really the case. 

The only people I've heard of making that much money are doctors.  I need to become a vasectomy doctor.  I learned that the local vasectomy doctor earns $500 for every dick he snips.  I want to snip dicks and get paid for it.  And he does between 5 and 10 a day.  So he's rich.  I know I couldn't spend that kinda cash quick enough.

So, my message to the guys that are thinking about trying a bitch at the club: you will burn in a lake of fire if you don't pay for your lap dances.  It's cruel to make us rub our bodies on your fucking rager and just go, "Oh, I'm going out to the car to get my cash."

YOU FUCKING ASS HOLE!)#$(&*@#()$*  FUCKING DIE

That's all I wanted to say to him.  I knew as soon as he was out that door he wasn't coming back.  Fucking ass hole.  I hope he dies a miserable death very soon.  I remember reading The Walking Dead, which is a zombie comic, and I remember one of the female characters got imprisoned and tortured.  She broke out somehow and returned the favor to the man that tortured her, except he eventually died from all the things she did to him, like nail his dick to a wooden 2 by 4.  She also took some pliers and plucked off his entire fingernails.  She even put a power drill to his shoulder and squeezed the trigger.  I'm starting to smile now.  I should, because in all reality, no douche bag as low as he is on the food chain is going to fucking screw up my mood for the night.  I can save my tears for the real problems I leave at home.

Is it bad that I smile while thinking of these morbid thoughts?

Mondays are slow.

God!

It wasn't that bad though, but I didn't make as much as I normally do.  I wanna have a good night every night.

Are there just some people out in the world that just have that sales talent?  I know there are people that can sell shit on a stick, but they pitch it like it's Pocky.

I'm not one of those people.  I learned over the past few years that you have to be heartless if you want to make good money.  The banks didn't get rich by not soullessly charging interest and late fees.  I wish I could charge a $35 douche bag fee.  Any time a guy acts like a tool, I wish I could just mind control him, make him pull out a couple of twenties, give them to me and walk away.

But if I could mind control people, this world would be all kinds of fucked up.  But I bet I could fix a lot of shit in spite of that.  And I wouldn't be working in this stupid club.  Because I could get a lot more money mind controlling the people at the bank...

My guns came in!

My kicks kick ass.  I had a nice four days off.  Could I be any lazier?  I'll be working the next three nights.  No nights off.  I have to make up for lost time and I need to save up for impending vacation!

That thing called school

I'm done with it now.  Time to get to work, dig myself outta debt, and enjoy my life.  I hope I can retire from this ASAP! 

I've realized that I'm just SO BORED with this job.  It's the same, mindless conversation after the next.  I just want to say, "alright, give me your money so I can rub my naked body on you."  Just get it over with. 

I'm so sick of these ass holes that come in and I'm so sick of all the bitches and hoes.  Guys, if you're not going to spend money, get the fuck out.  Girls, keep the dick out of your holes, you don't need to do that.  If you need to, you can work outside on the street.  Keep that shit out of the club, please.

I don't wanna act like I'm too good for the club (actually I do), but I know my brain can do way more than what I'm doing now.