It's 5 p.m. right now. I have to be at work in a few hours and I just do not want to go.
But it's time to make money. The food doesn't put itself on the table. That's the downfall of vacation. I got lazy and used to being lazy. I spent the whole time with my boyfriend that I absolutely love and now I'm back in town... away from him. Again.
I have to detach myself from him again. I don't want to. It sucks and it tears up my heart every time I come home, but it is impossible to work and flirt with other men and be successful at it without doing this. I have to mentally block him from my mind. It's hard to do while sober, but whenever I think about my boyfriend I just have to close my eyes and pretend the guy I'm with at the club is him.
I have never accidentally called anyone my boyfriend's name before, and I don't think I will. When the times goes on, and my boyfriend isn't so fresh in my memory, then I don't have any trouble at work. The first month or so is always the worst. I usually have to depend on my financial aid I get from school to support myself when I come home, which is a good crutch.
For now, it's time to just go to work, get saturated in that poisonous environment, and carry on just like in November. I got my good break and now it's time to go back to being responsible, as much as I don't want to, now is the time. Time for work. Time to carry on.
Time - when you have to wait for a lot of it, it's never on your side.
About Me
- Bella Hack
- Somewhere in the south, United States
- Actively posting since 2010. At this point, I've been dancing for a few years now, and now you can see the transformation and evolution of a girl who picks dancing to pay the bills. It started with the crazy bullshit that seemed out of the ordinary until it became ordinary, now my primary focus is stripping "smarter" and finding a way to replace the income with a "real" job, and to answer any questions to those wanting to know more about the world of stripping.