So I gave a lap dance to my very first female customer last night! Boy, did she love it. She had her hips tilted forward so my ass could hit her clit real good. She got really into it, but the best part was I wasn't disgusted by her! She was a little handsy but she didn't cross any lines. Actually, the best part was she tipped me very well.
I wore my gun shoes and I forgot how heavy they are! They felt like lead weights attached to my feet. Thing is, I don't think any of the "metal" on my shoes is really metal. So that doesn't really make sense.
I've really gotta get back in shape. Even when I take five days off, you would think that only five days you wouldn't lose strength. Well, you do. If you work out all the time, a day or two off is cool, but not five. I'm slower on the pole and the tricks seem to be harder. I just don't fly up the pole like I used to when I climb it. Grr! Brrawr! I gotta become a beast again.
Well, I'm sure that will happen since I have another deadline to make a certain amount of cash before my interest rate goes through the roof. It's a pretty big goal to reach, too. I'm going to have to work like, 4 days a week minimum. I'm not sure how that's going to work. I don't think I've ever worked that many days in a week. Well, I probably have and I was probably regretting it.
I remember when I'd save my work nights for Thursday through Saturday nights. I'd be okay on Thursday, dancing with no problems, doing awesome pole tricks and my knees didn't hurt. But on Friday I'd be pretty sore and by Saturday night my knees would be pretty bruised, my muscles would ache so bad and my morale would be low.
Speaking of low morale, I've noticed that my low self-esteem is starting to show at work. Or maybe it's the frustration of not getting laid. Someone actually told me I needed to get laid. And he wasn't joking. But I think if I don't get any, I get depressed. It shouldn't be like that. I need to be okay, dick or no dick.
I thought that I might be bipolar, because I'm just waiting for my mania phase to come back and get me out of this depression slump! When I'm in my mania phase, I let the stripper side of me take over. The stripper side of me is a ruthless, heartless bitch who gets things done, feelings aside. She's the outgoing person that does all the things my shy side is too scared to do. My shy side is the one that keeps me out of trouble, though, but has no balls.
I know you're probably thinking, jeez girl, get help!