Thursday, December 26, 2013

Darkness tightens its grip

I'm dreaming of a night Christmas...

Santa would be pissed at me for being awake until Christmas morning.  My sleep cycle has fallen back into the night time pattern.  I'm not liking it.  Why do I relish ignoring my "don't sleep all day" alarms that go off in the afternoon?  It's bad when my 5 o'clock birth control pill reminder is what wakes me for the day.

It's only because I have nothing to do during the day yet.  This "vacation" has already spoiled me.  I think I'm gonna try to revert my schedule next week... After new years.  It's hard to change your wake-up time from 5 p.m. to 9:30 a.m. in less than a week, but it's possible.  It's gonna suck.  I obviously prefer waking up late.

Maybe I should stop watching TV shows on Netflix.  I started watching Dexter, which is quite addictive.  I know, I am so late to that show.  I really like how the show is written.  I think this is what keeps me awake so late.  And the oversleeping.

Tomorrow is Friday night.  I'm feeling compelled to work, but I know I shouldn't.  My sleep schedule is perfect for working night shift.  But I'm feeling very fat and lazy.  I've been cooking up some delicious, fattening festive meals, and I've also neglected to work out since school let out.  My trainer is gonna kill me... If my boss doesn't get to me first.  I think I'm gonna have to stop my vegetation process early.  I've been tossing out all my motivation, and I think it makes me a weaker (and fatter) person.  The thigh fluff is returning, ab definition is lacking, stamina is declining.

We'll see how long this vacation lasts before I decide I've accumulated enough potential energy.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Time for break

School is out for Christmas.  I wonder when society will reinvent the holiday schedule.  It's poorly timed.  I need money.  That "buy presents for your loved ones" pressure compelled me to spend and next month is January.  It feels like the most expensive month of the year.  And last January did not go so well, especially financially.  I still remember those tears.

Someone even commented on my nightmare post that I need a vacation.  I'm listening.  I'm debating taking one of the next two weekends off.  Question is, which one?  The weekend before or after new years?  I'm not working new years, don't try to convince me.  That "holiday" belongs to me.  I deserve one party night a year for sacrificing my weekend nights for cash.  This year it's right in the middle of the week.  I'm just going to drink, stay inside, and be normal.

I would feel irresponsible if I took both of those weeks off.  I want to save my energy and my money but the bills won't stop.  Energy is all I have.  I have a feeling that if I take the next two weeks off, it will be beneficial to my school life, with a clear, well-rested mind and body.  Plus the sheer boredom and lack of income will probably make me that much more enthusiastic to return to both school and work ready to command, grind and conquer.

But I have to consider that if I attempt to work, it will probably be a shitty night knowing that all my super-spender co-workers will be hunting for end of month cash and the club has no guys.  I don't need that, my sanity doesn't need that.  I'll be kicking myself for not taking that conveniently timed vacation.  Or I could make enough cash to ease the burden of paying for January's expenses.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Stripper nightmare

Soo... I had a dream last night.

I was working and I danced for like three songs to some old fart and the next thing I know, I'm off somewhere else in the club and I notice my stack was too low.  I can't remember if he paid me.

Much of the remainder of that dream was me wondering how could I let myself not get paid?!

Then the other dancers found out and started ridiculing me.  I couldn't find a way to hide from it.

Then I woke up and felt so relieved because I would NEVER really forget to collect.

I love and hate how dreams leave holes in the story and focus on certain things, people or events.  So strange!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Losers from the past

I shouldn't have danced in the same town I grew up in.  Only because every once in a while, I'll run into someone from my pre-stripping past, like dudes from my high school.

Last weekend, while on my usual hustle, I approached a group of guys who seemed like actual paying customers.  Apparently they went to high school with me or they knew the guy who did.  They asked me if I knew the guy, and I immediately got turned off when they said his name, because he kept mistaking me for some other girl from our school who looked like me.  Thank goodness they think it's her instead of me, because it's fucking hilarious watching them try to call me out when they've got the wrong girl.  

It didn't really matter to me that they thought they knew who I was, but every time I bugged for a dance, they'd deflect and keep bringing up the past.  I asked three times, they deflected three times.  Three strikes, they're time wasters.  So I started getting snippy, because I just wanted to work, and these guys are trying to make it more awkward for me.  I fucking hate that!  So I ignored them.

About 20 minutes later, one of the guys approached me and asked how much a dance was.  Following my own advice from a few posts ago, I said, "for you, $30."

He paused for a moment and said, "I'll think about it."

"Ok, you do that," I replied.  

I could've done one for $20, but I'm starting to hate myself every time I agree to that deal.  I feel like I'm the one being hustled for that price.  A lot of guys try to bargain with me, so if they want to pay bottom price, they gotta get more than one song, and two for $40 isn't much better. 

During my next round, I saw the guy and asked him if he had thought about it some more and if he was ready to dance.  

"I only have $20." 

"Oh, ok, well let me know when you have $30."  *peace*

That's another one of those lines I RUN from.  "I only have $20" means he's not the customer you want.  I want customers that just want to keep getting dance after dance, not concerned with the cost.

Someone asked me, "why $30 and not $20?" 

It seemed so easy to answer.  Without missing a beat, I said, "because $20 makes me feel like I'm selling myself short." 

Plus, I won't complain when guys get grabby as long as they paid good.  I won't allow grabby for only $20.  They gotta pay if they wanna play.  

The point I try to make is that we dancers respond to incentives.  The more a guy pays, the more grabbing I'll allow.  It's a hell of a lot harder to make money off someone who pays $20 than someone who pays $25 or $30.  That's why I'll shut down $20 offers.  

But sometimes there are nights when there aren't enough customers and too many girls working.  Sometimes dropping the price to $20 is necessary, but it's really a last resort.  I'd only agree to it if it's been too long since I sold a dance.  But they still get my watered down, no touching dance for being cheap.

Anyway, I lost that sale because my dances were too expensive for him.  It doesn't really bother me, especially when I think about how I saved myself from wasting time with someone who obviously doesn't respect me.  Fuck that.  I'm at the club to entertain gentlemen, not losers.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Sale night

I'm liking business school.  It's fun to apply the concepts to stripping.  Tonight wasn't a very good night to be a dancer at my club.  Too many girls working and not enough guys with money.  Lap dance supply heavily outweighed the lap dance demand.

Some guy tried to school me on "how to make more money" stripping.  I love how guys who have never been a stripper think they know the business better than I do.  He was like, "It would be better if the club did revenue sharing instead of charging you girls a flat fee."  In my mind, Family Feud buzzers and big red X's are going off.   No, wtf, it doesn't make sense for me to give away a cut for every dance.  I'd rather start off in debt because 99% of the time I do well enough to pay the house fee.  Another one of his suggestions was to spend more time building rapport and going for the weak ones, as if I don't already know.  He was like, "Remember their names, ask how their day is going.  They'll become your regular." I don't work at a "regular" club, so that's the worst advice.  The best way to make money is to GOUGE GOUGE GOUGE, haha.  I wonder if he could see me rolling my eyes.

I followed my own advice from my last post and for the most part, it worked.  I got paid what I wanted from everyone I danced for.  I just wish I danced for more people, but I'm glad I got what I could.  Tonight wasn't that much of a headache other than the ample downtime.  

May tomorrow night be busier and better.  Goodnight!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

More tips for noobs

This one is for the ladies.

You might be brand spanking new, or maybe you've been dancing for months.  Either way, I'm sure these tips will benefit you in the long run, if you plan to keep dancing.

- Save your energy for the big bucks.  If you haven't caught on already, doing lap dances or rooms is the way to make the most money in the shortest amount of time.  Sadly, stage tips haven't gotten any bigger in the past three years.

So I say this with the hottest blood because I am FUCKING SICK of watching new dancers do this.  STOP GETTING ON YOUR KNEES/SPREADING YOUR SHIT/TWERKING FOR ONE DOLLAR.  Stop it.  Just stop.  In fact, don't do anything extra.  A dollar these days is fucking pennies when it comes to actual purchasing power.  You are not a god damn soda machine.  The ONLY time you do something awesome on stage for someone is either for yourself or for a larger bill denomination.  $1 should not motivate you at all.  $5 should make you budge just a tiny bit.  But really, save your energy for when you're actually getting paid.  MAYBE if they're making it rain, but as soon as those dollars stop falling in front of you, stop dancing, look at them and say, "Hey, why'd you stop?"


-Ask for a tip.  I've said this before, because more times than not, you get extra just by saying it when it comes time to pay.  If you do this with every customer, the bonuses add up.  It becomes your bread and butter.  You're not being crass or homeless.  Say it like "everyone tips."  Sometimes, a guy will tip too much (SCORE).  But as often as that happens, sometimes the guy will ignore "plus a tip" and pay what he owes.  Don't let it phase you.  All you have to do is ask, it's no more effort than that.

-No matter what the price, you must tell someone who asks "how much?" the highest amount of money you can charge.  Don't cut deals unless you are asked to, and don't cut deals you're not happy with.  If you don't like doing 2 for $40, don't do it.  (If you do 2 for less than $40, find another club, you aren't earning enough) People that only do one song are only one step above "complete time wasters."  So you shouldn't feel bad making them pay premium.

-For your sanity, don't dance for the rapey guys.  Most of the time, the money you receive from grabby creeper won't cover the therapy sessions you'll need after dancing for him.

Times you should RUN:

Whenever a guy asks "what can I do?"

That usually translates to, "I want to get my money's worth, so can I touch your pussy?  ...can I pinch your nipples?  ...I want to push the limits."

He will be a fucking headache.

Spotting time wasters: usually you can't tell until you talk to them.  This is why you should always ask for a dance within 30 seconds of talking to someone.  I usually don't open with "wanna dance" because my success rate isn't as high as asking someone for a dance with a quick intro right before the close.

I read something about advertising and it said that people usually turn away from anything that sounds ad-like.  You must make them feel comfortable and remind them it was their idea, because it really is - why else would they come to the club?

So open with something casual, friendly and flirty.

You: "Hey, how's it going?"

Customer: "Good, you?"

You: "I'm great.  Wanna go dance?"

Sometimes that's all the intro you'll need.  It's not wrong to cut to the chase.  You are not being pushy.  If he seems hesitant, he may need some "time."  The most successful dancers I've worked with have this ability to say no to "no."

It's hard to tell when he actually means no, but as time goes on, your judgment will get better.  Sometimes guys need a little persuasion, but there are guys that want you to keep trying to persuade them.  Remember, more than 30 seconds is too long.  If he doesn't budge after that much time, chances are he won't budge for many more minutes.  Don't waste them.  Lap dance time is valuable.  Politely excuse yourself from that loser and move on to hunting down a guy that will actually pay for your excellent lap dances.

The way I see it, if you're not doing dances or working in VIP, you're "on the shelf," which includes being on stage.  Focus your energy on being "off the shelf."  Don't waste time.

I tend to bash the stage only because I've been working long enough to not care about it anymore.  If you're awesome on the pole and your epic stage routines yield fat tips, by all means, make that money.  But your epic stage show should result in someone wanting to spend mad dough on lap dances with you.  If it doesn't, ask yourself if all that twisting and turning you just did was worth it.

One last thing, and this is important.  PAY YOUR TAXES!  If you are paying your bills with stripper money, depositing stripper money into your bank account, it can be traced and you must claim that money as income on your federal tax return.  If you are making bank, you can afford to pay taxes, but you must be diligent in setting that money aside so you don't spend it.  It is a common mistake, but the world is getting better at tracking money and if you leave a paper trail, you need to be ready to explain yourself... And pay.  It sucks, because often the tax expense as an independent contractor can run up to a third of your income.  If you make bank, you better save some for the IRS, because it is illegal to underreport income, not file at all, or try to cheat in some way.  Don't be a greedy whore.  Stripping is legal income and you should be proud of yourself for being able to keep yourself straight with the IRS.

Alright, I think that's enough for now.  I'll think of more later.

Ladies, hope this helps.  If you're a guy, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I'm positive I'm not the only dancer who feels this way.