Sunday, May 26, 2013

Doing doubles

Tonight went well.  For most of the night, I paired up with our only Asian girl, and we danced for so many guys.  She is awesome, because her hustle is so different from mine.  I'm more subtle, and she is more aggressive so most of the time, she would pick out some guys and I'd tag along.

I'm not used to doing double dances.  I usually work alone, but I think I would enjoy working with her more.  Guys love us.  We tell them they get the best of both worlds.

And since she is Asian, I tell the guys I'm from Brazil so I'm just as exotic as her, hehe.  Most of the guys believe it, even though I don't look Brazilian at all, except for my butt.

This one couple from Venezuela said they loved my bum bum.  It's the butt lift working its magic.  :)

I'm happy I did well.  I want to work tomorrow night because it's Memorial Day on Monday, and the bouncer said it is always busy on that Sunday.  I could use a little bonus.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Bad then good

I showed up to work early like a good little stripper and it was so unbelievably dead, I considered going back home.  I thought, don't be weak, it could pick up soon.

After doing a stage set, guys were trickling in, but they were so outnumbered by all the girls ready to work, I couldn't score.  The guys weren't really quality.

So I got fed up and took my break early so I could come back early and kill it.  And that's exactly what I did.  I cleaned up as soon as I got back from break.  The crowd was much better.  Lots of dudes to make money from.

All my regulars danced with other girls tonight.  Sucks.  I don't wanna be jealous of the other girls, I just wish it was me making the money.  It isn't cool to be possessive over a customer, anyway.  But I could've done a lot better had they also danced with me tonight.

This wasn't a bad night if I disregard the horrendous early part of the night.  Ugh, I'm gonna stop going in early on Friday.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Leveling up

Yesterday was kind of surreal because I was up during the daytime.

On Sunday night, I didn't work and did some baking.  I made cookies and drank milk with them, and passed out at midnight.  I woke up four hours later, at about 4:30 a.m.

I couldn't fall back to sleep because my typical stripping pattern keeps me awake from 12-4.  I was working at that time on Friday and Saturday night, so I stayed awake during the wee hours of the morning, and watched the morning news reports.

I still couldn't fall back to sleep after 9 a.m.  So I figured I could go to school while it's still early and walk in and take care of any roadblocks with getting registered.

I say that the day felt surreal because I feel that way during my second wind.  That second wind overrides all that tired feeling I felt when trying to go back to sleep.  So does caffeine.  My school is teeming with vending machines full of caffeine-pumped beverages.  My choice of poison for that day was a Java monster energy.  There is no sleeping after knocking back a can of that rocket fuel.  

Since I drank the crank, I couldn't fall asleep even when the afternoon started sucking away that second wind.  I ended up going to a friend's house to shoot the shit, and took a 15 minute nap when I got home around 8, then stayed up til 2 a.m.  I almost couldn't go to sleep because that is when I'm working, but I knew I needed sleep and I eventually crashed out for about 12 hours.  Now I am "almost" back to normal.

So the good news is I managed to get through ALL my road blocks with school and now I have a perfect, full-time schedule for this coming fall semester.  Now the challenge is to pay for the classes.  Since I'm returning for a second degree, I'm not qualified for any grants or scholarships, which really is a drag, since I had a scholarship last time.  My only option for not paying up front is loans, and I don't want any more debt.  Interest is such a pain.

Guess it's time to shake my sweaty ass all summer long.  I should do buy one get one free lap dances. People can't say no to free.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Slow season

God, I'm feeling the slow down.  Nobody wanted to dance.  I guess the budgets were too low for us high-Rollin bitches.

I got many of my favorite lines I keep thinking of awesome rebuttals to.

"Can you hook me up with a free dance?  It's my birthday!"


"You're so hot, I want you to be making money, just not from me."

"Well, thanks, useless hot guy.  Watch me go!"

Tonight wasn't a complete waste of time, either.  I just wanted to do better.  I guess I'll settle for average.  I get a C for tonight.

Not looking forward to the next three months.  Time to grind harder.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Workin hard

Tonight tested my patience.  All these fucking guys got in on the nice way to say no: later.

No, god dammit, not later, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

I'm tired of this shit.  All these guys are so broke.  I kept getting the tapped out excuse, but you're hot.

Nice ass, wanna come home with me?

I want to work at a new club.  Somewhere just as heavenly.  I don't have many options.  There are a lot of "step backward" clubs I could pull the new girl at for a week, but I'm not willing to take the risk.

I just want to get out of this job.  So my university accepted my app, now I'm taking the steps to getting all signed up and shit, make a good road map, and stick to the plan.  Kick some ass.

I need all the luck I can get.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Fat week

Hopefully my paycheck will be just as fat as I've been eating.  I only worked out on Monday this week, and I've been eating a lot of sweets again.  I can't help it, I love to bake.

I skipped work tonight.  Fuck Thursdays.  I went and saw a movie and got my lady faps on to the hot actors.  Much better use of my time.  I could be making money, but I also could be torturing myself to a useless night with nothing but pissed off, broke bitches all competing over a few broke losers.  Thursdays are usually slow, so I usually skip them.  I don't need torment.  I can make money tomorrow.

Oh, on a good note, more steps are being taken to becoming a student again.  I even applied for a vanilla job... I'm feeling so ballsy.  Perhaps why I'm not so inclined to go back to the club.  I'm trying to work on my life on paper.  The bills never seem to go away, so neither will the stripping until my life on paper brings in some actual paper.  I can't be a student forever.  Maybe this major will pay off.  I know what not to do this time.  SLACK OFF...

I'm actually really excited to go back to school.  I'm good at school.  I'm a great, sexy student.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Oh man, I'm still poor.

I hope I make more money this weekend.  The budget got really tight since last weekend failed.  I hate having to be tight with money.  I just want everything... But then life would be too easy.

I'm looking forward to this weekend.  I have a feeling I might make up for last week's fail.  I'm due for a good weekend.  This weekend is my best shot.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Stupid mothers day

Note to inner corporate cocksucker: don't work the Saturday before mothers day.

Tonight was a waste of time.  Ugh.  Fuck my job!

I guess the suckers got robbed by their moms this weekend.

Next week will most likely be much better.  It fucking better be.

Gonna go cry by myself now.  I'm gonna rest up nice this week.  I'll bounce back.  I'm resilient.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Lame ass crowd

I had to hustle hard.  It wasn't busy enough to not care.  I had to enforce my high price on the grabby guys.  I didn't have any patience.

Many girls were pretty angry that the Friday crowd was bullshit.  I didn't want it rubbing off on me, but it's hard to avoid when no one wants to get a dance.

I guess there goes the season.  I should go up north for the summer, but I know I won't go.  I'm too scared to travel.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Not so bad after all

A few days ago, I was bracing myself for the painful rent week woes, but this weekend turned out to be productive.  

So one of my readers posted a comment asking about the dynamics of stripper pay.  

I'll explain.  

Stripping can be great money when the stripper is on her game, the customers are spending, and the competition isn't outnumbering the customers.  That's a formula for stripper success.  

Every strip club encourages its customers to tip their favorite dancer.  It can be as little as $1, but the ballers make it rain.  Big bills are more appreciated, of course.  Money talks.  But stage tipping isn't the only way dancers make money.  There's a reason we all go, "Wanna dance?"

Every club is different on how lap dances are priced.  In some clubs, it's $10 per song.  In other clubs, it's $30 per song.  Some clubs have timed VIP rooms as low as $75 for 15 minutes.  The highest I remember seeing was $600 for an hour in the champagne room.  The dancer may or may not keep all the monies charged.

Some clubs take a flat "house" fee for the night.  Some clubs take a cut of each lap dance sold.  I prefer the flat fee, because it really feels like a total rip off to me, especially if I sell a lot of dances, that's a lot of my money being wasted on the club.  I think it's a unnecessary hustle to the very thing that keeps the club in business.  

For example, I used to work at a shit hole club that took $25 for every $75 room I did.  So I only got $50 when the guy paid $75.  So the club makes $100 if I sell 4 rooms.  And I only keep $200 out of the $300 spent.  It's too big of a cut.  I'd rather pay $42 every night whether I make $50 or $500.  My house fee should cover the wear and tear of the space I use, keep the lights on, and the staff paid.  It shouldn't go up just because I was having a good night.   

Income is not usually consistent.  There are good nights and three times as many bad nights.  As fast as I can make the money, it's coupled with the generosity and wealth of the crowd I'm given.  Sometimes every guy wants to buy a lap dance and other times, everybody's broke.  Sometimes guys are ultra resistant to tipping.  Which vexes me, but I can't let it drive me crazy.  I'm overjoyed when someone tips too much.  

Anyway, there's my digestion of how strippers get paid.  Hope it made sense.  

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Fuck your birthday!

I cleaned up tonight.  ¡Muy limpia!

The biggest spender was a Mexican man from California.  I guess I was totally his type because I brought him to climax on accident.  I wasn't trying to.

I learned how to ask for a big tip in Spanish so I got paid a good tip, but not enough.  It's never enough.  But at least I didn't bang him.  I obviously didn't have to.  

I wore my pink sparkle heels and lingerie, which I believe helped me tonight.  Add to the broken record that pink makes money.  Weird how that works.  I think I'll try white tomorrow night.  White is the other moneymaker.  Or maybe pink and white polka dots.

The first compliment of the night was from this frequent visitor (not spender) who said I had the intelligent look.  I'll take it.  I honestly think intelligence is sexy.  I get excited when someone says they have a 4.0 or a masters or a doctorate.  

OMG I can't make one post about work without complaining.  So.  This fucking 21st birthday dude is trying to squeeze more time out of me by saying "...but it's my birthday!"  After he told me that for the third time, I felt so inclined to just blurt, FUCK YOUR STUPID BIRTHDAY!  Gawd!  IDGAF!  GO HOME AND JERK OFF! 

I think the birthday line should always be avoided in the strip club, after giving it some thought.  I was beginning to think he was lying since he had to remind me more than once that it was his birthday.  You don't have to keep reminding me.  It only reminds me that 21-year-old guys are fucking babies in the strip club with false senses of entitlement.  Another one ruins it for the young guys, sorry under-30 dudes.  

And I never got shit on my birthday.  My birthday was a shitty Saturday, which is sacrilege!  Saturdays are not supposed to suck, and the one that sucked was my birthday.  Nobody was tipping and I even had a little birthday girl ribbon on.  I should've went out and partied.  

So that was my night.  I worked.  Tonight worked overall.  To my surprise, rent weekend isn't failing me.  

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Douche night

I had lots of practice dealing with douche bags on Saturday night.  I got a lot of those one-liners I love hearing so much.  

While I was dancing for an ugly, young drunk guy, he asked, "You give blowjobs?"

I was a little shocked because I hadn't heard it in a while.  I don't think I give off that vibe but when you're drunk, you get those vibes whether they're there or not.

"Uh, no," I replied.  "I am a lap dancer only."

"So you're just gonna charge me money and leave me hanging like this?" he said as he looked down at his hard on.

"Yes, I do it every day."


"But I want a little more than that.  I want to come," the horny drunkard begged.

Stop crying!

"I'll tell you where to get that since you're being so honest."  As I collected the money, I listed off a few places in the area that had their reputations for giving orgasms.

I'd like to think I handled that well.

When I was on stage, there were a bunch of guys in their mid-20s all with wads of singles in their hands.  So I got in front of one of them and did my usual intro dance to get some quick dollars.  I don't bend down until I know I'm getting paid, so when he didn't reach out to tip after staring at me for a good 15 seconds, I stretched out my garter to demand it (because it usually works, even if the guy isn't into me), and he gave me my favorite line of bullshit.

"You gotta work a little harder than that," he said as he held up one dollar, waving it like a doggy treat.

OMG no I don't, I'm already naked, you got to see my pussy, it's YOUR turn to pay!

But I really said nothing and slowly moved on.  Fuck that guy.  I'm not busting my ass for one stupid dollar.  He was a douche bag, worthy of no attention.

Making money was like pulling teeth all night tonight.  One guy even offered to trade molly (some kind of ecstasy) for lap dances.

In my head I was thinking, "First off, I don't dance for drugs.  If I need drugs, I can buy them with the money that I get from lap dances, but I don't need molly and even if I did, I wouldn't go through you, a stranger I met at my JOB.  I don't even know if your shit is even good or if it's even REAL!  It could be baby powder for all I know."

But I said, "Hope you make some money soon, let me know when you want to dance."


Ugh!  Get away, scum!

I learned this early on in my dancing career: don't buy drugs at the strip club!  It's never a good decision.

Not much quality.  No handsome money princes.  Lots of chaos.

The moon was full this weekend.  Imagine that.