Saturday, December 29, 2012

Bright, beautiful sunshine

I've been getting lots of it.

I skipped Thursday and Friday night.  I am so fucking broke.

I should work tonight.  I don't expect it to be busy, but let's hope it is.

Time to get my shmooze on.

Oh, I almost forgot.  Santa in his UPS uniform beat on my door yesterday.  It scared the shit out of me because I thought it was my neighbors pissed about my horrible singing (I was practicing some songs I like on my little keyboard).  But it was UPS Santa Claus.

I got a bunch of new stripper shoes, like four pairs.  I'm excited.  It's nice to have a pair that isn't dirty, stinky, or dinged and scratched.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Let's talk about cum

I was looking at how people end up on my web page and one of the google searches said, "do strippers like to make guys cum."

My answer: NO

If I make a guy cum during a lap dance, he won't buy another dance once the song is over.  It doesn't help my money at all.  Most guys don't tip extra after they cum, and if they do, it's not a big enough tip.

Hookers are the ones known for giving men orgasms, not strippers.  Their prices are higher than a lap dance... At least it should be.  If I gave a guy an orgasm, I'd want to make the kind of money a hooker makes for that service.  I don't know the exact amount an escort charges for such a service, but I would hope it's at least $100.  I'm sure it's more.

I heard one lady (who got busted) was charging $600 per hour, which sounds reasonable.  That's $10 a minute, so $100 for ten minutes, $300 for a half hour, and so on.

I don't like making men cum because it's not my job.  In fact, many times I can tell when a guy is about to bust a nut so I switch positions.  I'm not the only one with this tactic.  I discussed it with a dancer in the dressing room a while ago.  We were giggling about it.

Yes, I know, I'm a dirty, hustling tease.  That's the job I signed up for.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The female customers were better.

Well, tonight couldn't have been any more average.

I thank the people that actually came to the club and spent money on me.  Because I would have been broke if it weren't for them.

So Christmas is in a few days.  I'm guessing that's one of the reasons I didn't make as much as I wanted.  I understand people got presents to buy.

The end of the month is coming, so that didn't help the cash flow, either.

I'm lucky my regular came in.  I'm always so glad to make a little something from him.

Then I danced for a handsome couple - the lady was really hot.  They were both liking my body and she was pretty into it.  I like that.

I also danced for a couple of other girls.  They seemed a little drunk, but that's good.  I don't mind buzzed chicks.

One guy, who didn't spend very much on me, gave me his phone number which I threw right into the garbage once I walked into the dressing room.  What's creepy is he came over to me later in the night to say goodbye and reminded me to call him.  I had to keep my poker face because I totally didn't have his number or any interest to call him.

I didn't dance for any bread winners, sadly.  There were plenty of jackasses taking up space.  A lot of them were being stingy, and two of the most shark-tastic hustler chicks were backstage talking about how shitty the guys are with their money.  Like, they don't even take stage tips, never get on stage unless they have to.  Very money-oriented, so when they are doing bad, it's obviously a bad night.

So much for tonight.  I did better last night, blah.

One more week and it's a new year.  I need mo' money!

Friday, December 21, 2012

It's the end of the...

... Toilet paper roll.  A couple of my co-workers were TP'ing each other in the bathroom.  They must have been bored... Or 12 years old.

So what drugs will you be on during the end-of-the-world celebration?  You are going to party like there's no tomorrow, right?

I heard a lot of girls saying they would rather not be at work when it happens.  If we all died, would it really matter?

I'm gonna work tomorrow anyway.  If the world doesn't end, which is my prediction, I'm gonna need to make more money because it was a typical, slow Thursday night, and I made typical Thursday night money.  Not terrible, but not impressive either.

I'm gonna try it all again tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Resorting to drugs

I think I need some sleeping pills.  I can't correct my sleep routine by myself.  I've been trying for three weeks.

The good news is I just woke up, in the early morning hours, like normal people.  So I'm gonna go out and get some more sunshine once it gets light out.  I have missed it so much.

The bad news is I might not make it through my night shifts this weekend.  It's Wednesday morning now, and I need to go in Thursday night.  Maybe if I stay up all day until 2 a.m. I might have a chance at not passing out during my shift tomorrow night.

I'm gonna try getting another nap in the mean time.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

What day is it?

I can't be the only person that has this issue - my sleep routine is off.

I just woke up.  It's 6 a.m.  I'm usually finishing my post-work meal at this time of the morning.  

I hope I can fix this by the weekend.  I'm expecting a better turnout and I need to be awake to rake.

I'm gonna watch the hell out of my Netflix, it puts me to sleep if I lay on the couch long enough.

I wanna go out shopping and enjoy the sunshine while I'm awake.  I love the happy feeling I get from doing that.  I can tell by my mood that I need more sunshine... Or maybe more mall stuff.

Friday, December 7, 2012

A dose of laziness for my soul

I took tonight off.  I don't wanna burn out on the weekend.

The last two weeks sucked and I just don't wanna go back.  I like not putting up with bullshit.

But I don't like being broke.

I suppose I'm prepared to go back to it all tomorrow.  The only way to get over a bad weekend is to have a good one, and I gotta show up to make it happen.  I should go in early both nights to make up for my laziness tonight.

I hope I have good news tomorrow night.

Y'all get some sleep now.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Got some sunshine

I feel better now.  Today I went out to see my family and went Christmas shopping.

Good for the soul.  I have been working so hard lately I forget I have one.  I don't really like being soulless.

I should go take some classes for the spring semester.  I miss being around people that aren't strippers.  I feel so out of touch with reality, not like it's a bad thing, but I'm losing my platonic social skills.  I miss learning, questing for an A, getting Starbucks with my study partners, the classrooms, all that stuff.

Click here if you love kitty cats!  I haven't been up to much lately, so cute kitties help me smile.

Sunday, December 2, 2012


Well I did pitiful tonight.  I lost focus and my energy.  I felt out of my element.

I'm glad my week is over.  Hopefully next week will be amazing.

My regular showed up and he danced with all of my co-workers instead.  Timing was off, I couldn't get him alone.  Again, I'm glad this week is over.

Tonight's bread winner was a older black gentleman to my surprise.  The sad part is I still think he was being cheap.  I hope I gave him blue balls.

Tonight's color was hot pink.

Some drunk guy was trying to explain the Mayan prophecy.  Haha, that was too hard to follow.  I do remember him saying the scarcity part of the world is over and that what's next is abundance.  It better be an abundance of money!

I wish.  Maybe it's the end of the world that has illegal marijuana, fucked up religions, and humans dependent on oil.  They better figure out how to convert poop into fuel.  Oh wait they already have.  WHY AREN'T WE FILLING OUR TANKS WITH SHIT?!  WE CAN NEVER RUN OUT OF SHIT!