Saturday, December 29, 2012

Bright, beautiful sunshine

I've been getting lots of it.

I skipped Thursday and Friday night.  I am so fucking broke.

I should work tonight.  I don't expect it to be busy, but let's hope it is.

Time to get my shmooze on.

Oh, I almost forgot.  Santa in his UPS uniform beat on my door yesterday.  It scared the shit out of me because I thought it was my neighbors pissed about my horrible singing (I was practicing some songs I like on my little keyboard).  But it was UPS Santa Claus.

I got a bunch of new stripper shoes, like four pairs.  I'm excited.  It's nice to have a pair that isn't dirty, stinky, or dinged and scratched.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Let's talk about cum

I was looking at how people end up on my web page and one of the google searches said, "do strippers like to make guys cum."

My answer: NO

If I make a guy cum during a lap dance, he won't buy another dance once the song is over.  It doesn't help my money at all.  Most guys don't tip extra after they cum, and if they do, it's not a big enough tip.

Hookers are the ones known for giving men orgasms, not strippers.  Their prices are higher than a lap dance... At least it should be.  If I gave a guy an orgasm, I'd want to make the kind of money a hooker makes for that service.  I don't know the exact amount an escort charges for such a service, but I would hope it's at least $100.  I'm sure it's more.

I heard one lady (who got busted) was charging $600 per hour, which sounds reasonable.  That's $10 a minute, so $100 for ten minutes, $300 for a half hour, and so on.

I don't like making men cum because it's not my job.  In fact, many times I can tell when a guy is about to bust a nut so I switch positions.  I'm not the only one with this tactic.  I discussed it with a dancer in the dressing room a while ago.  We were giggling about it.

Yes, I know, I'm a dirty, hustling tease.  That's the job I signed up for.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

The female customers were better.

Well, tonight couldn't have been any more average.

I thank the people that actually came to the club and spent money on me.  Because I would have been broke if it weren't for them.

So Christmas is in a few days.  I'm guessing that's one of the reasons I didn't make as much as I wanted.  I understand people got presents to buy.

The end of the month is coming, so that didn't help the cash flow, either.

I'm lucky my regular came in.  I'm always so glad to make a little something from him.

Then I danced for a handsome couple - the lady was really hot.  They were both liking my body and she was pretty into it.  I like that.

I also danced for a couple of other girls.  They seemed a little drunk, but that's good.  I don't mind buzzed chicks.

One guy, who didn't spend very much on me, gave me his phone number which I threw right into the garbage once I walked into the dressing room.  What's creepy is he came over to me later in the night to say goodbye and reminded me to call him.  I had to keep my poker face because I totally didn't have his number or any interest to call him.

I didn't dance for any bread winners, sadly.  There were plenty of jackasses taking up space.  A lot of them were being stingy, and two of the most shark-tastic hustler chicks were backstage talking about how shitty the guys are with their money.  Like, they don't even take stage tips, never get on stage unless they have to.  Very money-oriented, so when they are doing bad, it's obviously a bad night.

So much for tonight.  I did better last night, blah.

One more week and it's a new year.  I need mo' money!

Friday, December 21, 2012

It's the end of the...

... Toilet paper roll.  A couple of my co-workers were TP'ing each other in the bathroom.  They must have been bored... Or 12 years old.

So what drugs will you be on during the end-of-the-world celebration?  You are going to party like there's no tomorrow, right?

I heard a lot of girls saying they would rather not be at work when it happens.  If we all died, would it really matter?

I'm gonna work tomorrow anyway.  If the world doesn't end, which is my prediction, I'm gonna need to make more money because it was a typical, slow Thursday night, and I made typical Thursday night money.  Not terrible, but not impressive either.

I'm gonna try it all again tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Resorting to drugs

I think I need some sleeping pills.  I can't correct my sleep routine by myself.  I've been trying for three weeks.

The good news is I just woke up, in the early morning hours, like normal people.  So I'm gonna go out and get some more sunshine once it gets light out.  I have missed it so much.

The bad news is I might not make it through my night shifts this weekend.  It's Wednesday morning now, and I need to go in Thursday night.  Maybe if I stay up all day until 2 a.m. I might have a chance at not passing out during my shift tomorrow night.

I'm gonna try getting another nap in the mean time.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

What day is it?

I can't be the only person that has this issue - my sleep routine is off.

I just woke up.  It's 6 a.m.  I'm usually finishing my post-work meal at this time of the morning.  

I hope I can fix this by the weekend.  I'm expecting a better turnout and I need to be awake to rake.

I'm gonna watch the hell out of my Netflix, it puts me to sleep if I lay on the couch long enough.

I wanna go out shopping and enjoy the sunshine while I'm awake.  I love the happy feeling I get from doing that.  I can tell by my mood that I need more sunshine... Or maybe more mall stuff.

Friday, December 7, 2012

A dose of laziness for my soul

I took tonight off.  I don't wanna burn out on the weekend.

The last two weeks sucked and I just don't wanna go back.  I like not putting up with bullshit.

But I don't like being broke.

I suppose I'm prepared to go back to it all tomorrow.  The only way to get over a bad weekend is to have a good one, and I gotta show up to make it happen.  I should go in early both nights to make up for my laziness tonight.

I hope I have good news tomorrow night.

Y'all get some sleep now.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Got some sunshine

I feel better now.  Today I went out to see my family and went Christmas shopping.

Good for the soul.  I have been working so hard lately I forget I have one.  I don't really like being soulless.

I should go take some classes for the spring semester.  I miss being around people that aren't strippers.  I feel so out of touch with reality, not like it's a bad thing, but I'm losing my platonic social skills.  I miss learning, questing for an A, getting Starbucks with my study partners, the classrooms, all that stuff.

Click here if you love kitty cats!  I haven't been up to much lately, so cute kitties help me smile.

Sunday, December 2, 2012


Well I did pitiful tonight.  I lost focus and my energy.  I felt out of my element.

I'm glad my week is over.  Hopefully next week will be amazing.

My regular showed up and he danced with all of my co-workers instead.  Timing was off, I couldn't get him alone.  Again, I'm glad this week is over.

Tonight's bread winner was a older black gentleman to my surprise.  The sad part is I still think he was being cheap.  I hope I gave him blue balls.

Tonight's color was hot pink.

Some drunk guy was trying to explain the Mayan prophecy.  Haha, that was too hard to follow.  I do remember him saying the scarcity part of the world is over and that what's next is abundance.  It better be an abundance of money!

I wish.  Maybe it's the end of the world that has illegal marijuana, fucked up religions, and humans dependent on oil.  They better figure out how to convert poop into fuel.  Oh wait they already have.  WHY AREN'T WE FILLING OUR TANKS WITH SHIT?!  WE CAN NEVER RUN OUT OF SHIT!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Black + red = sexy!

I was looking as tasty as thanksgiving tonight!  I had that red lipstick and bra on with a black leather garter belt and black thigh high boots.  Very fetishy.  Even the hot sexy ladies I work with were loving my outfit.

I think some guy looted my thong.  I was called to stage after dancing for a guy and I grabbed my stuff, but didn't get my panties.  I thought they would still be there when I got off stage.  I looked later but I couldn't find them.  I'm not too upset.  It wasn't expensive. 

So tonight was very slow.  I was doing circles in the club trying to get SOMEONE to dance.  It was tough.  My sexy outfit got a few fans.  One really saved my night.  He was a dominant type.  I played a good, submissive little stripper, since I'm a good, submissive little lady.  But I wasn't submissive about my price, ha.  

I'm surprised my ass didn't get blasted by a drunk dude.  There were plenty of them, too.  Omg.  This bachelor party group was so terrible.  They were flinging coins!  YOU DON'T DO THAT! GAH!  I would have kicked them in the head if they hit me with one, I was lucky I didn't get hit... Shit, they're lucky I didn't get hit.  

Those boots killed my feet.  Time for my salty bath!  My muscles are squealing with happiness for that.  

Even though tonight was slow, it was worth coming to work.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Turkey tastes good

I didn't work.  Fuck work.

I busted ass all month, I can afford to take thanksgiving off.  Black Friday, too.  I'm so glad I'm going to sleep through all that madness and not spend a dime.

Don't give a fuck!


Thursday, November 22, 2012

Turkey ...and pie

I went to work tonight.  I figured it would be good since most men with money have thanksgiving off.

I was right!  There weren't many girls working and there were plenty of guys.  A lot of them were young, foreign and shitty (like for a moment I saw nothing but cheap foreign dudes.  The next white guy I saw I almost asked him if he spoke English).  But I dug deeper and found the guys willing to dance with my pretty ass.  I was strict (brutal) with my prices and it paid off.  I recently took a little sales advice.

Life is good!  Happy thanksgiving to you all, eat lots of turkey and your favorite sides that come with it, and let the tryptophan settle you into a wonderful nap.

Then go to the strip club when you wake up  ^.-

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I burned my ass


I hadn't been in a while so I took on the full 15 minutes instead of 12.  I figured I had been tanning long enough to handle it.  Turns out I'm still a white bitch who burns.

It's not a bad burn, though.  I think it'll turn out fine.

So I'm thinking about going in to work tomorrow.  It'll be Wednesday night, the night before thanksgiving.  The last time I worked it was a busy night.  I'm hoping it will be busy again.

Gotta stay motivated.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Stupid, slow Saturday

If it weren't for the paper-thin athletic shorts guy, the kisser, the drunk luster, and Santa, I would've worked for free tonight.  Thank you, ass holes.  You all were a pain but your cash makes up for it.  

Everyone else that saw me naked can fuck off.  Cost of business is getting higher.  I need my hot Epsom salt bath.  

Sleep time!  I hope those church bells don't wake my ass up.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Withdrawal limit reached?

No problem.  I take cards.

Last night was the first time I said that.  It's about time.

So my ass got saved by the square.  I was doing pretty shitty for a Friday until then.

I need to stop showing up late.  I'm so lazy and it shows.  I could do so much better.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Watch out for puke!

Some guy came into the club all wasted and didn't make it to the toilet in time.

So I was doing a lap dance for a good-paying customer and all of a sudden, this guy trips over the potted plant near us and lands on it, face first.  I wasn't sure if he had passed out but he got up after a few seconds and went straight to the bathroom.

I was wondering what got my feet wet... what was that all over the floor?  There wasn't much light where I was, just a black light.  I studied it for another moment then I figured it out - it was puke.  

"Fuck.  Gross... Omg I need to clean my feet off but I'm in the middle of a dance!  Shit!"

I ran to get a paper towel to wipe off my feet.  I found out after the dance that the puker got my fucking shoes too.  Good thing it was my beater pair and not my sparkle heels, I would've been so upset.  

But other than the guy puking, I had a good Thursday.  It was slow, but I had a few good customers to even out the downtime.  

But yeah, some dude puked.  At least he wasn't the guy I was dancing for.  It makes me think of this video.  

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Winter is coming

My hands are so dry.  Omg where is my lotion?  Shit, I ripped another shirt with my hard nipples.  I need to save up for black Friday omg  >.<  *girl problems*

I love that it's cooler outside now.  Fuck, the crisp air is amazing!

Ok, I don't know if it's because the winter is coming, but I've been so hungry lately!  Ugh!  polar bears and tundra animals pack on pounds to keep warm for the next few months.  And thanksgiving is next week. Holy shit, November is a short month.

I wanna bake some badass cookies.  And by badass I mean bad for my ass.  I want some chocolate chunks the size of golf balls in them.

Girl scouts need to get on their shit and sell me some fucking cookies!

Santa, help me this holiday season.  Help me discipline my fat ass into a good workout regimen.  I went to a kick ass workout that wore out my pecs.  My upper body strength is shit.  And so is my tummy.  I need to stop eating.

Food is not your friend, Bella.  Eat good, burn good.  Fuck yeah.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Damn bills

Ugh, I hate bills.  Now I gotta make more ass dollars.  

That extra hour of work, the weather changing and the few pounds I dropped must've weakened my immune system because I'm getting sneezy and sniffly.  Bah, I hope it passes quickly.  

I might go to bed early.  I've been dragging ass, lacking energy.  Hopefully I will be better by Thursday.  

Sunday, November 4, 2012

That extra hour

The cool thing about working overnight is dealing with daylight savings time.  For me, that meant more time to make money, which I did.

The customers were much nicer to me tonight.  I made more money, too.  Amazing.

I'm so fucking pooped.  That extra hour made the night so much longer.

Oh, there is a contest for America's Top Stripper.  That's not me.  I don't know all the stage shenanigans, I can't do the splits, I suck at hustling and I hate losing.  I might have a great booty, but I'm not about to pussy-pop doing a headstand like Chocolate Dream.  She should be America's Top Stripper.  She makes all the boys in the club go, "Damn!!"

I hope someone from my club gets it.  We got hot bitches, just how motivated are they?  The prize is $5,000.  That's a good chunk of money.  I sure could use it.  But I'm guessing second place gets nothing, which blows, hardly makes the contest worth doing.  It's funny because there is a sign-up sheet in the dressing room and no one has touched it.  And it's been there for a week, now.

My best customer tonight was a Gemini.  I don't know what it is about Geminis but they fucking love me.  And I love them, too!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

People are so horrible

I got the worst customers tonight.  No one understood what "tip" meant.  People must think I like being molested.  

Let's see, I scored a dance with a couple, old and gross, probably high on ecstasy because they were both extremely smiley and the lady was quite loosened up.  Most women are really uptight.

Oh and I also scored a non-tipping sweatpants bonerman.  (I just love that term, it describes them perfectly)  I was not about to get his nut sweat on my ass and then he criticized my dance.  So I criticized his pants.  Ugh.  !!!  >.<

I also got another guy who happened to be drunk, and it was his 21st birthday.  God dammit.  

Oh I didn't get a dance from the guy who says I am too good to be stripping.  FUCK YOU!  And he gave me his business card.  He is a lawyer.  I walked away and threw it in the garbage when I got into the next room.  I should have tossed it when he was still looking.

I should've been a bigger bitch.  I felt like I failed at sales.  I made money, but I felt like I worked way too hard for what I took home.  I saw other girls smoked what I made tonight.  I was so jealous I wanted to cry, especially for being jealous.

Ugh, why am I being so damn weak?!  I hate being such a nice girl.  Makes me wanna puke.  I'm gonna be such a mean hustler tomorrow.  I hate watching girls make more money than me.  I wanna be that bitch pulling in a grand.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Working Halloween

I've certainly had better nights.  But I made some money, which is good.

It was pretty good when I showed up.  There weren't very many girls working because they all wanted to skip work and party.  Plus, end of the month is usually shitty.  But I wanted to kick ass since bills are coming.  I don't want to go broke.

Anyway, my night started out good, but once 2 o'clock came, nobody else came through the door and I got stuck with the same broke ass people.

There were a lot of couples that came in, many in costume.  This one lady gave me her black angel wings, and looked hot with my red and black lingerie.  I didn't keep it, though.  I figured I wouldn't be wearing them again.

So now it's November.  Time to get ready for Thanksgiving and some good money nights!

Saturday, October 20, 2012


Ahh, I shouldn't have went in early.  Millions of girls.  Stingy guys, if any guys.  Two stingy couples that thought they were exempt from tipping.  Ugh.  I hate girlfriends.  They really keep their men from tipping.  I got impatient.  Nothing but more girls walking in.

The stage is crowded, the dressing room is crowded, the ladies room is crowded, don't wanna go backstage, nothing has changed, getting pretty tired of circling the room.

I left early, I have time to go back.  I don't want to feel irresponsible.  I could still make a good stack, just don't feel like breaking myself when there isn't a crowd.

My hip has been bothering me.  Stretching doesn't seem to be enough.  Maybe I'm not stretching long enough.  Ugh, just not feeling good.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Pink sparkle did me well

I don't know if it's because it's October or my new shoes because I did good tonight.

I hope it stays good tomorrow and Saturday.  

Sigh, I'm too hard on myself.  I always think I don't make shit and I'm getting fat, but sometimes a good night at work reminds me that I don't suck, my game works, and my body looks awesome.

All the girls were digging my shoes.  In fact, another girl just got the 7" silver sparkle shoes.  A girl told me she claps her heels, and she already busted out some of her precious stones.  See, I was being careful not to do that.  But the box came with some extra stones in case a few pop out, which I was glad to see.  All it takes is a hot glue gun.

One other girl asked me where to buy them.  They are bright and shiny on the stage, it was like I had pink Vegas under my feet.
Aye, and before I go, I'm gonna do some man hating.  God, the poor, stinky, drunk fucks.  Ugh.  Just go home and jerk off if you're not gonna make me some money.  I wish I went home sooner.  This fucker slapped my ass hard.  Too hard.  That son of a bitch.  I hope he gets a DUI.

Oh, and I ripped a long, five-second fart next to these bad tippers.  It was fucking awesome.  Just count for five, full seconds, go ahead.

Pfft... 2, 3, 4, 5.  ....fffft! 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Yay, tonight was good!

I'm so happy it's October!  I had another good night.  Life is good.

I can finally stretch out my legs and do nothing tomorrow.  There is a football game, but when have I ever cared?  I could work, but I always give myself Sunday off.  I hate slow nights, though I've heard stories about the club being busy on a Sunday, especially when there is a football game.  

Oh, and I found out what happened with my favorite valet guy.  He got fucking fired.  I couldn't believe it.  Everyone was upset.  The club owner just decided the guy wasn't necessary anymore.

I'm not sure if that's why the gay bouncer left.  He didn't say anything to anyone, just left.  I don't really blame him.  I'm sure he was probably sick of all the shit - not getting a raise, girls don't tip him like most bouncers would get at other clubs, girls always trying to get him to shake money out of stingy, difficult customers.  He puts up with so much bullshit.  I wouldn't want to do that job.  

This scares me.  It just goes to show that everyone has a fire lit under their ass at this club.  No one is safe.  It's the owner's club and he does what he wants.  

I'm afraid he is going to say I'm too fat.  Ugh, I've been so hungry this past week, giving in to all sorts of cravings.  I haven't stopped the exercise, so I have that to ease my mind.  He was at work yesterday, I was sucking in my tummy whenever I saw him.  Such bull crap.

It reminds me that I need to focus on my life after dancing.  Luckily I have a degree and I could always pursue it, or further my education.  I think I want to get a science degree.  Seems more useful than TV journalism.  I would love to be some talking head on the news, but then I remember how much I want to change the channel when I see them reading some stupid scripts, or worse, talking about what THEY care about.  Maybe I should become a weather girl.  I love weather anyway.

Alright, enough rambling.  Goodnight!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Well played.

Despite all the young kids that showed up, I didn't have a hard time making money tonight.  Even the young boys paid for their dances.

I was careful in choosing who to ask for dances, and it probably paid off.  I don't like asking random guys that might be total nightmares to dance for.  That's how I end up with guys that want to pinch my nipples off or make a dick sandwich with my butt cheeks.

One of the frequent visitors is real nice to me, and sometimes I talk to him out of character.  We like talking about nerdy, cool stuff.  I was chatting with him and he said he wasn't feeling the "good night" vibes.  He said, "I can just tell, the club is full of douchebags tonight."

Right, he was!  I got off to a great start - guys were overpaying for their dances, and I was loving it!  I was like, "Are you sure you don't want change?  Such a generous tip!  Thank you!"  But the guys that weren't doing that were the people complaining about the economy while sitting at the stage.  And I thought, "I know who's NOT getting a pussy flash." 

Apparently there is drama among the security staff.  My favorite valet and my favorite gay bouncer no longer work for the club.  I want to know why.  People are so afraid of running their mouths that no one will tell me.  They were cool.

Well, it's time to stretch my tired legs.  I need some strength and flexibility for tomorrow.  Hopefully I make more money.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Girly post

The club was very slow tonight, but I did pretty well if the other dancers did as bad they said.  Sucks for them.  I have had bad nights too so I know their pain.

I was looking quite fierce in my red getup tonight.  I wore my new red bra and panties, red lipstick, even sparkling red eye shadow, which is a very unconventional shade for eyes.  

I think I'm gonna go with my new emerald green lingerie tomorrow.  It's one of my favorite colors.  Victoria's secret is so damn expensive, but I know that shit will pay for itself in under an hour!

Then when I get my new sparkle shoes, I'm gonna wear my pink.  If tomorrow and Saturday are awesome, I will be able to afford MORE sexy lingerie and MORE sexy shoes!

Gotta get going.  Mom said she was treating me to getting my hair done, and that's at noon.  I hope I wake up in time!

Thursday, October 11, 2012


Work out, check.

Go tanning, check.

Trim and paint toenails, check.

Handwash delicate lingerie in the sink, check.

I've been busy.  It's good to be prepared, though.

I'm gonna rock this weekend.  I'm gonna try to look as smashing as I did last Saturday night.  I think I'm going to stick to sexy lingerie from the mall.

Monday, October 8, 2012

My stripper-ific wish list

I received a comment from anonymous asking where my wish list is.  Well blogger can't seem to show me how to make one anymore so I'll just make a post about it, and update it accordingly.

I ALWAYS want new stripper shoes!  I can't ever get enough.  They wear out or get dirty and nasty in like three months. I'm sure I could clean them and repair them, but why go through the trouble when $40 - $100 later I got a brand new set of heels?

Edit: I want my own pole with all the extras (brass instead of stainless steel, travel cart, LED light kit, white floor) I need to practice all the hard stuff at home so I don't look like I'm fucking up at work.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Wow, I did awesome!

I worked early last night to compromise with my daytime sleep cycle.

To my surprise, I did exceptionally well for the time I worked.  I went home with almost 3 hours left.  I could've made bank but I didn't wanna pass out suddenly.

The club was really busy, and a lot of girls didn't show up, probably because they were thinking it would suck like I did.

I wore a sexy pink bra and panty set and it was making me some killer money.  Hardly any down time for me.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Time to upgrade

I got my square.  Now I can take cards.

Fuck yeah, been dragging my feet for a while on this one.  Feels good to get shit done.

I also started tanning.  Hopefully I will look slimmer as a result.

And it's a new sign.  Libra is here.  Awesome, positive air sign.  Sign of judgment, balance, and leadership.

It's been a good few days off.  I went to the day schedule.  I am so tired and it's not even 1 a.m. I don't know how I will get through tomorrow night.  Probably lots of caffeine.

It's an end of month week, so I'm not expecting to kick ass, but hopefully I will be surprised.

Friday, September 21, 2012

I hate kids

I took a risk and it didn't pay off.  This kid was acting stupid.  I just wanted to fucking punch him.  And punch myself for not getting his money up front.  I got ripped off.  Luckily it was only ten minutes of my time, but I don't get those ten minutes back.  Ugh.  This hardly ever happens, so when it does, I get pretty upset.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Aw fuck yeah

Tonight was another easy night.  Well, my feet and the rest of my body are all worn out, but it's normal.

I've lost a little weight.  I'm looking a little leaner.  I quit eating bacon, despite how delicious it is.  Fuck I love bacon.  I like telling that to cops.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Yeasty beasty

Put me out of work tonight but I will be better by tomorrow.  

My big curiosity is why anyone would buy the 7-day treatment instead of the 1-day.  Who would want that shit to take longer?  

Ok this post is gross and way too personal.  I should go.  

Friday, September 7, 2012

Gawd. So tired.

I am lazy.  I skipped work tonight.  I figured I would save some energy for tomorrow and Saturday.  Maybe I'll be glad I did it.

My head is having a hard time getting into the game, but I will be okay by tonight.  Right now, I just don't wanna deal with people at all!  They all can be so fucking stupid, but hey that's life, right?  Dealing with idiots... I will try to be nice to the stupids tomorrow.

I'm gonna go eat a sandwich, now.  I am so hungry.

I bet you are too.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Reliable Saturday

I did good! I wasn't burnt out. I just played the game while breaking in some new shoes.  I got several offers to fuck, and rejected them one after another.

Time for a break. Labor day will be a nice day off. I can't believe it's september already. The summer is finally drawing to a close. Time for business to start picking up. I'm ready to crush my goals.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Free Friday

I didn't feel like coming to work tonight.  I'm fuckin tired.

Fuck the end of the month.

Fuck August.

Fuck Labor Day weekend.

Fuck the broke ass losers that can't buy dances because they gotta pay rent.

I just don't feel like dealing with the bullshit.  All I have been thinking about lately is stripping and I need a break.  I'm so sick of it.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Workin on Wednesday

So there were supposed to be a bunch of men with money showing up.  I'm starting to think its a lie.  See we have this big event in town that's supposed to be increasing our business, well it isn't increasing.

Tonight was another shitty Wednesday.  I managed to scrounge up some cash from some of the guys. Luckily at the end, a drunk guy was smitten and made my night a lot better than what I was about to leave with.

Oh, and earlier in the night, we had religious protesters outside the club driving away customers and tying to force a lawsuit by trying to get us to throw punches.  They were calling the patrons whoremongers and the girls whores.

I decided to take a lunch and wait for them to leave since no guys were coming in.  I got a ride from my boyfriend and when I got into the car, the protesters were yelling at me, saying I should be ashamed of myself.  It pissed off my boyfriend big time, he was yelling all kinds of offensive things back like, "FUCK YOUR GOD! JESUS WAS A SODOMITE!"

The whole thing was making me laugh, I just couldn't get mad, I knew it was what they wanted.

But when I came back nice and fed, I did the best I could while the night dragged on.  I don't know if I want to take tomorrow off or go in again.  I like making money but I am getting tired of all the hype and no action.  I'd rather wait for the weekend.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I forgot my shoes!

This never happens, I swear.  I spaced hardcore tonight.

I came in late, the same as last night and before I went inside, a few people from work said I missed the rush.  I shrugged that off because I don't take that discouraging chatter seriously.  I think they do it to fuck with their competition.  I can still make money,  I don't need a million patrons from a party bus to make money.

So I said, "There will be another one," and walked into the club.

Before I got past the door girl, she told me that tip out had been raised.  Well fuck.

I said, "Alright, I'll make it," and proceeded to the dressing room.

The club looked really empty.  I could see a few men sitting down with the vulture-type chicks lurking over them and a bunch of bored strippers lined the walls of the club.  Didn't look good.  But then again, it always looks like that when I show up.

I found a space to get dressed and I got my bikini on and one thing was missing: my high heels.  Where were they?  FUCK!  I wasn't gonna dance in my flip flops so I took off.

I went back home, made dessert, and decided to save my energy and work earlier tomorrow night.  I plan to work the rest of the week.  I shouldn't kill myself.  I felt pretty tired anyway.  I don't feel bad for not coming in tonight.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Monday was much better

A delightful surprise, I did better tonight than I did on Saturday.  It was a busy mad house when I came in late, tons of bitches but because it was so slow at first, most of them didn't bother to stay for the late rush, which was quite fine with me.  More money for me!

One of the girls I work with dressed up like a naughty Sarah Palin, and she banked.  I should do that.

But I don't look anything like her.  Even when I wear my glasses, they aren't the same shape.  I would have to be another politician lady, but no one is as famous as the nailin palin character.

It started out very slow tonight, I wasn't getting any guys until I got sucked into a double with one of the best hustlers in the club.  She was so good at getting those fools to dance even when they were like, "No."

That didn't stop her, they eventually caved.  I couldn't believe it.  That never happens to me!  But then again I've got guys from doing that, but usually I walk away, give him some time to "settle in." Sometimes it pays off, but most of the time I end up fucking myself because he just takes the next girl that comes up to him.  But whatever, I should try hard all the time.

Well, tomorrow should be just as good, so good luck to me!

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Another useless Saturday

Nights like last night make me think I must be in the wrong business.  God.  It was high supply.  Every girl came to work with an impossible, lofty goal and no guy came to pay for our company, just wanted to see us naked for free.

I deserve better than this!

I was so disappointed once I noticed every guy had no money.  I started looking at them like they were all fucking douchebags because that is what they were to me, nothing more.  Sorry if he has a nice personality, but he paid the cover to do the same thing that whoremonger standing next to him was doing: see the naked ladies. I'm just a naked lady to them, nothing more, even though I am a person with feelings, just like him.  But I'm at work.  Feelings go aside because it's all about MONEY.

Money over people, that's how it is at the club.

I fucking hate money.  And yeah I am saying that because I didn't make any last night.

So fuck money.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Another night of suck

All I heard from my customers tonight was, "what are you doing after work?"

I should've said, "I'm going to fuck your mother, that's what I'm doing."

And to the ones that asked, "why don't you come dance for me at my hotel room?"

"So I can stab you and take all of your money?"

I know he would rather stab me with his cock and not pay me, but that wasn't gonna happen.

Some guy was like, "I get it if you're not attracted to me."

Uh, DUH.  You think a ten like me is gonna be into your ugly ass?  You must be here because you can't pick up chicks at a regular club.


Why do people from New York think they are so great? Is it because Alicia Keys wrote a song about that place?

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Strippers try to talk politics

Ah, it's an election year.

So I was in the dressing room last weekend and I remember some girls arguing about voting republican or democrat.  And I noticed myself wasting too much time listening to them go back and forth spouting garbage they heard on TV.

They were so bad at explaining themselves, though.  I was laughing inside, listening to them talk about how previous presidents have failed and how Romney or Obama is the better choice.  They said things like, "let me know when you get raped because you can forget about Planned Parenthood if Romney wins," and the right-leaning girls getting yelled at were shooting back with taking away guns if Obama wins.

And it's like, who fucking cares?  Nothing is gonna change anytime soon because of all the nonsense talk and no work fixing the problem, no matter who wins.  With the way our government is set up, forget about legal weed, cheap abortion clinics, the economy getting better, welfare and the post office and bullshit like that...

People are humans and humans don't give a shit about other humans.  It's never gonna change no matter how hard we try to convince people to believe our stupid "agenda."

So strippers should vote democrat if they wanna collect food stamps and fuck the rich people, which are our best clients, so that's why it might be better to vote republican.  But I honestly don't care who gets put in office because my lack of faith in the government fulfilling its promises has overshadowed my belief in any candidate's agenda, democrat or republican.

Here's my agenda:
Government stays the fuck out of our business but remains the most bad ass force in the world for our protection only, not to dictate the way of life.

Charity degrades those who accept it and hardens those that give it.  Bums should either die or work for their money.

People can own whatever gun they want.

Women can get abortions whether it was rape or not.

People can do whatever drug and as much as they want.

People can smoke outside on university campus.  Can you believe some schools banned it?!

Increase trade, reset this money scale, completely erase the concept of credit cards.  Gas, groceries and services cost too much.  The value of a dollar ain't shit anymore.  When a guy slips a dollar in my garter, it's a good thing.  But if that happened 20 years ago, I would have been able to buy a loaf of bread, a gallon of gas, and some eggs.  I have to get another ten of those dollars if I want that stuff now.  

I doubt my fairy tale agenda would ever become reality.  The reason people can't do lots of drugs and own high-powered artillery is because the people that can't enjoy them responsibly fuck it up for everyone else.  It's the same reason for all the other liberties we can't enjoy.

I'm going to just play the game of life as best as I can because that seems like the only plan to stick to no matter how much things change or remain the same.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Day of rest

Ah, sweet Sunday.  No work, no bullshit.

I treated myself to some sushi today.  It was so epic for my inner fat kid.  Mmm, I want cake now.

I also bought some new lingerie.  I have so much lingerie now, I should throw away an old pair for every new thing I buy.  I'm running out of space for things I never wear.  I've been thinking about trashing some old bras I wore when I was still a virgin.  Nothing a trip to goodwill can't fix.

I've come to my senses since it's been some time since my little crush incarnate hung out with me.  I'm glad I didn't act upon that temptation.  I would've made such a mess with my personal life.  I just gotta fight the demon in me.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I hate it when I have an awesome connection with a guy I met at work!  Kind of the same way a responsible person hates ecstasy.  It's fucking awesome when you're on it but once it's over you know what kinda damage it does when you go too far, and it's real easy to go too far.

But I exercised great self control even though I could barely concentrate.  I was brutal in my icy rejection.  I took that money and the show was over even though we wished it wouldn't end.  But I have to rest some time.  And that's Sunday.

Rest well, I'm about to.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Sticky hot summer

I didn't work again for Thursday.  I'm being so bad.  Maybe I could afford those expensive shoes if I just went into work last night, but I'm not gonna drive myself nuts over that.

My gut was telling me it was gonna be another shitty Thursday with a million hooker bitches and no guys.

But today is Friday so I'm gonna go in rested and smoke all these bitches.  

My ass is lookin hot from all that buns of steel I did this week.  I still think my thighs are probably fat to their standards but fuck them, because my legs are quite squeezable.  I'm not made of beef jerky.  My juicy ass looks tastier anyway.

But seriously, I'm gonna do it smart tonight.  No booze, no drugs... Just gotta stay focused, busy, and most of all, FUCKIN SEXY!

Monday, August 13, 2012

What does it mean?

That question comes up so much in every discussion I can think of.  What is the meaning of life?  What does it mean to me?  Maybe it's code for "why should I care?"

Maybe the answer to that is because we gotta do something while we're breathing.  We as humans desire greatness for ourselves.  There are thinkers and doers that achieve that.  I'm a thinker.  I'm the one daydreaming when I should be working.  But I'm still useful because I am the one coming up with ideas and solutions.  If you need creativity, I can help.

But I can't waste my life by thinking about it!  That is my personal struggle... To do the things I think about doing.

I think about being a vampy bitch to guys at the club.  But I'm so used to smiling and being nice that I forget to act vampy.  Hmm, I need to practice.  It's easy to do on the stage.  I don't feel bad when I take just one dollar.  That's easy to afford.  They got money, and I'm naked.  Pay per view, bitches.

And I asked a guy who frequents the club why he came in all the time.  He said it relaxes him.  So he enjoys a lap dance the way a beer drinker enjoys a brewski.  I remember I once justified a lap dance as equivalent to buying drugs.  The next day you think, "damn.  But I know I had fun!"

But in this industry, the pornography industry, this product is watered down sex, not the real thing, therefore not where the real money is at.  And that's what it means to be a stripper.  It's good for girls, not guys.

What's good for guys is real sex, in which they cum.  But whores do that job, and it's good for guys, not the girls.

Having said that, I feel like I've been in this industry long enough to have it pretty much all figured out.  I know what I need to do to make more money at this "profession." I have rode the line between innocent and shameless and I have to cross it if I want to have any more stories to say about it.

If I want to stay a moral chick, I gotta get into a new line of work.  I definitely want this.  I want to grow old and have kids one day.  There is no such thing as an old prostitute.  They catch something and die before that happens.

My nonstripper friends all say I'm meant for better things than lap dances and booty shaking.  It's time to evolve out of that stage.  I know I just gotta do it instead of talk about it.  I am scared to commit to something that might fail.  But why should I be?  Nothing seems promising these days, especially stripping.

So it's time to look for opportunities in education and research.  One thing I've also noticed from work is that I dislike stupid people.   If I work in a school or a career that requires higher education, I lower my chances of working with stupid people.

Doesn't that sound awesome?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

This fucking weekend


God, this job is bullshit!  Last night was Friday night and I made kill-yourself money.  So I got drunk at the club and then puked it all up after I got home.  No, I didn't drive, in case you're wondering.  No guys came in.  It was so slow.

Tonight was busier, but it took a while for me to start making money.  Like I didn't score one guy til 2.  Two in the fucking morning!  What the fuck!?

I kept my poker face solid tonight.  I was completely frustrated but I don't think it showed.  It's just that everyone is broke!  There are so many girls, omg they take that money before me and I know I do it to them too but gosh I see girls winning all fucking night and it's like, I wanna win too dammit.

And these damn guys with their bullshit game.  There isn't enough room for their game because all the girls are trying to run theirs.  No you can't have my phone number and I don't want to work at your place.  Again, what the fuck.

But I pulled through tonight.  I worked til the club got empty and I took home more bread than last night, but it still wasn't very good.  I'm disappointed with what I made for the week.  Even though it's the summer.  It's supposed to be shitty.  But I thought my hard work would make a difference.  It didn't.  I shouldn't fret so much about the misery of not making money because I'm not alone in that boat.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Mid-week madness

I love the middle of the week because I don't usually work those nights.  It's great to have a life outside the club because I get so crazy from being around it too much.

I went to the mall today to get my new glasses and to pass the time I went to the lingerie store, Frederick's.  I'm like a kid in a candy store at that place.  The sales lady was very nice and she hooked me up into this corset and I just LOVED it!

I was about to buy it until some other customers needed her help and she kind of left me there long enough to run out of the store without buying anything.  I felt bad for wasting her time but I was about to spend money I might not have had.  My credit card almost got maxed from the glasses and I wasn't sure if I had enough room on it for the sexy clothes.  Besides, $62 for a HOT corset that I know is really only $19.  Come on, for real?  I can't be that easy.

I can probably get my guy to buy it, because it is super beautiful.  I just need to get one that's on sale, not $62.  I can't justify buying a vanity item at the marked up price.  It's like buying those pink sparkle shoes for $300 from that stupid shoe vendor guy at work.  

I don't like getting ripped off any more than anybody else.   And the sad part is I probably would have bought all that stuff if she didn't leave me at the register to help those other stupid, trashy customers.  A mistake I've learned in the sales business is to never make your customer wait.  You have to be fast at getting them to spend before they change their mind.  

Sunday, July 29, 2012

I'm getting worn out.

My knees hurt, my hip is out of place, and I'm freakin tired!

For those that dance, here is some advice from a girl who has been on this job for over three years: find a chiropractor that is good and inexpensive, and visit regularly.

Right now, I don't have a chiropractor and I'm looking for one like that. I badly need a hip adjustment, according to the massage therapist.

So dancers, if you're just getting started, take it easy! I learned the hard way that busting your ass for these guys just isn't worth it. I was dancing so calmly on stage today because I'm tired of hurting myself. A few other girls including Death Drop were slamming their heels on the stage and doing flashy moves which look cool at first. But because I have seen them week after week, it's just annoying. Quit clapping your fucking heels together. I hate that sound. It does NOT make dicks hard, which is what spends.

And I'm almost certain Death Drop is gonna break her shoes, but hopefully not her face or her knees. I've already seen another girl break her shoes.

There is nothing wrong with dancing slow, I don't care if you think it's boring. My knees are the only ones I got!

Alright, some lessons, ladies.

Get a good chiropractor
Don't bust up your joints doing crazy moves on stage
Don't clap your heels real loud.

Now go to bed and get some rest. That one was for me.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I ordered new heels!

I found a website that's a lot cheaper than what other websites charge for stripper shoes. They put everyone else to shame, especially the salesman who tries to sell shoes at the club for ultra high prices.

So I got some sexy school girl pumps, and a couple of pairs for work, which include double clear straps for ultimate comfort and support (in my opinion), one pair is hot pink and the other pair is clear.

Now I can't buy shoes for another six months unless I earn it. I'm set for shoes. But if those pumps are comfy enough, I might get a few more sexy pairs I had my eye on. And the light up shoes were cheaper too! Under a hundred bucks, which I haven't seen before. I still don't wanna pay that much for shoes. All the shoes I bought were under $50 a pair. Because any more is just retarded, unless they look fucking sick. But I'm not buying sick heels if they are uncomfortable.

Now I gotta wait through the weekend for them, then they will be ready for next week. I look forward to no more stinky, broke down heels!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

It's hard not to eat.

So I'm worried my ass will get too fat if I get rid of all the junk food in my house by eating it. I think I will just run a few extra miles... Because I'm certainly not throwing away those chips.

On my nights off I feel great recharging my body, eating more food, sitting on the couch, watching my favorite shows or reading something cool. God I feel so guilty by Tuesday night. Good thing I'm working tomorrow night.

When I watch TV, it seems like people are always eating. And seeing that makes me so hungry, even if I just ate, especially if I just ate something healthy. So I tried curing my munchies with apples. I fucking love apples, why did I ever stop eating them? I think that once I replace all the sinful fat foods with fruits, I will tone up nicely.

So I'm almost done clearing out the snacks in the pantry. Hopefully they won't make my butt too fat. I just wanna get my pole so I can really have fun getting fit. I need to do more core work. And crunches and all that shit on the floor is boring! Instead I wanna build my core by doing those upside down moves.

Friday, June 29, 2012

No takers.

Actually, there were no givers tonight. I had one customer tonight. After my house cut, I was left with little cash.

What a shitty night.

That leaves a lot of room for improvement for tomorrow. It's hard not to be bitter about the money I made tonight so I am going to pretend I didn't even go in because I could've stayed home and enjoyed myself.

But no. I thought I should be responsible and stay in those seven inch heels all night long. Who the fuck was I kidding? I should have stayed home, knowing how shitty it was at 12:30. But sometimes there is a rush if drunk people after the bars close, but not tonight!

Nobody was buying tonight, simply put. It wasn't me. My only customer was begging me to go home with him. If I was a hooker I might've made a lot of money tonight. But I know I'm better off not doing that

Monday, June 25, 2012

Strippers love...

...Shiny shoes.


I want all the boots and that includes thigh-high, knee-high and mid-calf boots, and I want different colors...

Don't get me started on the pink sparkle shoes.

This is not product placement, I'm not being paid to say this. I like the Bejeweled line of shoes from Pleaser. And I have been eyeballing this pink pair I have a link to.

I'm not so good at formatting on the iPad, so copy n paste this link

and see the shoes I'm talking about.

I'm going to browse more fuck-me pumps on the Pleaser website. God I love their shoes. It's like Christmas when I get a new pair. Even the pain of breaking them in is pleasant because I know they are new! They don't stink, they're not all fucked up from the stage, and the plastic straps have to be heated with a hair dryer to get my fat feet in them.

I'm due for that feeling. I should get new shoes every three months and not because I'm a spoiled stripper but something goes wrong with my shoes after using them for that long. My current pair has a loose sole and they are starting to smell. But they still got another three months. I just need a shiny pair in a different color. And I want those pink sparkle shoes.

Plus it's better to have more than one pair of good shoes that way if I switch them off every week, I'm not wearing them all the time, thus not wearing them out as fast. I think I should have a good pair of black heels, white or clear heels, and a good pair of colored heels. And the next colored pair I'm thinking about buying are the pink sparkle shoes.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tonight was better than last night. Yes!

And the beat goes on.

Another Saturday, another nice chunk.

I'm trying to think of what was special about tonight and I have nothing... Yet.

Accidentally scratched Death Drop on stage. Totally felt bad because I have sharp nails, and I didn't see her... Cuz she is a ninja and does a lot of sudden moves. But I love her. I hope she didn't hate my guts for that.

But I diffuse drama like no other. I can't fight with anyone. I doubt I could ever provoke a girl to fight me. Luckily I work with girls that wanna make money just as bad as me, so none of them would risk losing their gig at the club by getting in a fight.

It wasn't very busy tonight. Many people showed up, but it wasn't packed like it gets on most Saturdays. Stupid summer months. Hurry up Labor Day, I need my numbers to go back up. God, that's more than two months away.

Time for bed, it's getting light out.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

What the fuck, Friday

All I heard from the girls tonight was, "I want to go home early, I hate these guys out there!"

And I was one of them! I didn't hate everyone, some of the guys were nice enough to hire me, some just wanted to talk, but most of the guys that showed up were the boys that talk the talk but can't walk the walk. They have NO money, constantly proposition me, and they usually stink.

These guys were trying to grab our "attention" in all the wrong ways. No money out, and they expect me to flap my butt cheeks up n down for them. And then when I ask for the money they want me to dance harder. UGH!!!

Then of course the poor boys ask me what I'm doing after work, trying to hit me up to go home with them. Nothing would please me more than to just take everything in their wallets and go home BY MYSELF and toss it all over the bedroom floor.

Then I would pick it all up and neatly stash it away for later use. It's not smart to leave money laying around. Though it's convenient to find money under the bed or in the jeans from the other day.

One more day of dealing with horn dogs then I am off the hook til next week. I shouldn't complain... I could be working 5 nights a week but I don't. I only work 3, maybe 4 if I'm behind on bills. So one more day of work is not so bad. In fact, tomorrow is Saturday and I look forward to it. I'm gonna kick some ass.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

What a nice night off.

I got to see a great show, I got my Wally world shopping done at 5 a.m. I love going at that time because there are no people there. Any other time is filled with the trashy moms and screaming children. Those words alone make me cringe.

I kind of wish I went to work after the show but I am going to stop thinking about it and be happy with the decision I made. Now I'm going to bed because it's light outside.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

I kicked ass.

I had another guy fall in love again. Maybe the extra ten pounds makes me that much more fun to squeeze. Because he LOVED my body... Couldn't get enough of it. And I couldn't get him to stop spending his money on me... Ahh!

I was so brutal! I made more money than I expected, which is always a good feeling. And because the last two nights were so tough, it makes tonight feel that much sweeter.

It also happened to be Friday. The feeding grounds are just more plentiful. Something would've been going wrong like last week if I didn't do better than my last two nights.

With that surge of success I'm going to be lazy and take tomorrow night off. Though I would probably do awesome because I would be on fire.

But I have a killer show to see. I'm taking my mini vacation now.

I'll try to remember to post but I usually get the motivation to write right after my shower and meal. But I go back to work Wednesday. I'm gonna try hump day one more time this month.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Wow, no guys came in again.

Holy crap it's summer!

Not a whole lot of fish biting, if you know what I mean.

But I can't starve, so I had to stick with the feeding grounds I chose.

I think I did good tonight, with the competition being so stiff.

I caught one big fish at the end, in which I thank my own patience. Many girls were getting fed the fuck up! And I don't blame them. I was feeling that way when I wasn't catching anyone's attention. Every guy had a sexy woman attached to him. Good for the guys, not so good for me.

I stopped to talk to one girl, her name will be Body Builder, who was getting pretty restless. She said, "I'm just walking around in circles! This sucks! There are three girls to one guy in here. Welcome to summer."

I bantered with her because I could relate. "I know, this is time of year we really can't afford to take nights off."

She said, "I know! I actually have to budget, like what the fuck?"

I couldn't take that comment... I know we are strippers and we should make lots of money but budgeting is what normal people do, and it's certainly not as convenient as having an endless pile of twenties. But it's not 2006 anymore. These days guys just don't have much room for lap dances in their budgets.

I'm happy with what I get. I'm not rich, but certainly not poor, either. I'm not bitching tonight.

Wow, that's rare. I like this!

I hope I have a better post tomorrow. I bet I will.

Forecast looks good.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Glad I'm not working tonight.

I love my nights off. I can do whatever I want.

I like this one TV show you might know. It comes on Sunday nights, sexy characters, supernaturals, blood, vampires, sex, gay, all that shit. I fuckin love it.

I like watching TV. I mean Netflix. Bless them and their lack of commercials. At least we are limited to product placement. But I don't blame the creators for taking money from Coca Cola, Apple, and all the other logos you find laying around in the screen of your latest TV obsession.

No, Netflix didn't pay me to tell you I enjoy my subscription. In fact I will tell you what they didn't tell everyone: you can spend hours wasting time sitting on the couch. My ass is getting fat. I should be running.

Speaking of getting fat, this girl I work with, Farmers Daughter, is a skinny blonde bitch about three years younger than me with one of the tightest bodies I've ever seen. So tight that her curves are slight, but still high and perky. She is thin but solid. She probably weighs 110 if she's as muscular as I think she is. But not an ounce more.

Anyway, she made a comment in the dressing room about being 5'5" and getting to 120 would probably be too big.

Those are my dimensions and I can't believe I actually felt fat! I KNOW my body is slamming, but I look at myself in the mirror and think I don't look as good as I did 3 years ago. But for a second I wanted to smack her and say, "Bitch, this is what a petite 120 looks like. Put those ten pounds in your ass where you need it."

It just rages me because she really could afford those ten pounds, maybe more. But I just need to remember that my club is shallow as a toddlers swimming pool. There is a fat list and I heard it doesn't take much weight to get on it.

I like my body where it is, I always have. I'm just worried about the time when I have to actually work out to stay that way. I'm well into my twenties and getting older. I can't be getting any lazier. If I haven't learned by now that life is hard work, I'm screwed.

But I'm not. I will always find a way to make it. As long as there are people out their with money, I will come up with a way to get it. Getting rich is hard, but getting by isn't.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

It's summer. Time for a vacation.

Things are back to normal for me. Same old Saturday night in June. I remember money gets tough this time of year. Everybody blows their cash on vacation with their stupid families.

Blow it on me! Blow it ALL on me. (picture me on my knees leaning back saying that haha)

I'm due for a vacation, I tell ya.


Good lord I HATE hustling. I love dancing and being naked and all, but god dammit when that fucker does not put cash out, it's like. I'm doing my part, now do yours and we continue this cycle til however long you want it to go.

Grr, this economy STANKS.

I talk to girls who have been stripping since before 2007 telling me that it really is a big difference. There aren't nearly as many guys with money these days.

But the beat goes on. Pussy sells and it always will.

I only caught one big fish tonight, and a few small ones. Including this one Hispanic fish. Who was a TOTAL fucking cheap ass to me, and I thought to myself, "THAT IS IT. I'm getting my fucking money up fucking front I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE." (Steam comes from my ears) I was feeling a little insane at that point, not gonna lie.

I like to watch the news when I write my blog. Sunday mornings are so funny. They roll the dumbest fucking stories. I just wanna call them and say, "Slow news day, huh." It's all bullshit. Talking about high school, local bands, stupid dogs, the dude with the newest prosthetic limbs... EVERYBODY LOOK, THIS GUY HAD HIS LEGS BLOWN OFF OVERSEAS. Here is his 60 seconds of fame.

I met a certain sports journalist tonight. I thought I had him in the bag but I tell you, this cutthroat business gets me all kinds of green, some not so good shades. I don't like when my envious side comes out but the chick who looks kinda like me got him instead of me. He came in last night and the same thing happened! I really hate my timing, I just wanna repeat that. I HATE MY FUCKING TIMING. That is the one thing that kills my money time and time again.

Did I mention I'm due for a vacation? It's coming. I'm taking next Saturday off and I'm going to see an amazing concert.

Goodnight, hit me up, I need more love, thoughts, constructive criticism, other insights, information...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Fucking drunks

I hate drunk people when they stumble into me and ask me how much for a dance. Someone did that to me on Saturday. I told him the price and he sat down so I danced one song for him and charged my usual price and his response was, "that wasn't a dance."

I don't usually get this from guys. He was so out of his mind so I didn't bother trying to turn him upside down. He was intent on not paying so that made me intent on getting him kicked out. Over one dance. I don't give a shit. No one gets away with ripping me off. I don't get those four minutes back... Lol

So no more drunk guys. Wait, then I wouldn't have any customers! No more stumbling fit shaced ass holes.

It's like rolling the dice with those guys. Sometimes I get a lot of money for minimal work or it's a waste of time, and time is money.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Goodbye, April.

Now it’s time for the summer to begin.  I absolutely dread this summer with my head held as high as I can hold it.  

Last summer SUCKED for me.  I’m not planning on that happening again.  But if the money sucks like it did last summer, I will need some help.  Luckily I’m dating someone who would do anything for me include pay for my expenses.  

But I’m a girlfriend.  I’m too expensive and I know it.  That’s why he doesn’t hate me working.  If he could really afford my expenses, I’m sure I wouldn’t be working.  

I’ve been working Wednesdays for the past couple of weeks and they turned out not too bad.  I think that extra day really does make a difference.  It’s been a while since I could say I’ve got a little spending money but I do!  It’s a nice feeling.  

So now it’s May.  Now it’s time to dodge storms, figure out which college courses I want to take during the fall, hustle mercilessly until Labor Day, and stay in the shade.  Fuck, now I have to watch out for kids that aren’t in school.  Looks like I will be avoiding the movie theaters and the mall. 

But now I can afford to go to the mall!  Haha, I think I’m going to buy some new jeans, ones that make my ass look really good.  I want to get new boots too.  And some crocs for fishing!  I’ll save the leather for the fall.  After Labor Day, I’m getting a new leather jacket.  

Ugh, I still need to save for my pole.  See, there’s my problem, along with everyone else in the world, as soon as I make that money, I can think of a place for it.  I know there will be nothing left over if I’m not careful.  Bills never go away.  It’s a constant worry so I try to pace it out.   

But nevertheless, I think I'm going to have a great summer this year.  I've been doing very well for myself so far this year.  I've been learning how to take each stride with poise and finesse, and each month I've been improving.  I hope I stay on that track.  I'm sure I will as long as I stay focused.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

420 = Good Friday for me

I'm so happy I made up for my shitty weekend during that whole Easter weekend.

Two weeks later I'm making money with little effort. This job is unpredictable with cash, but everything else about it is very predictable.

Fuck I'm tired. It's so late. I mean early. Gotta go, sun's coming up.

Monday, April 9, 2012

WTF Easter

Good Friday for men = Good
Good Friday for strippers = BAD

I learned that Good Friday means men with money are out being moral with their families.  I did real bad for a Friday night.  All the girls came to work but all the men stayed home, and we all know what happens when there's a high girl-to-man ratio at the club.

I didn't bother going to work on Saturday night.  I knew everyone would be sleeping before church.  Next weekend should be better money wise.  It better be.

But I decided to use that night off to have some fun with my friends.  We watched some TV and had pizza.  I haven't done that in a while.  It felt pretty good, but it also sucks to have made such little cash.

My Easter Sunday was wonderful.  I got to be with my family.  We had a delicious dinner during the afternoon then sat on our lazy butts and enjoyed soaking up the TV.

What a nice weekend for my soul, but not my paycheck. 

Saturday, April 7, 2012

My daily routine

I remember having an assignment in my high school Spanish class. We had to tell everyone our daily routine in Spanish. Partly because the words we were learning were words like "shower, brush teeth, wash, dry..."

I'm going to tell you mine in English today, though. My situation is a bit different from most dancers. Most dancers have kids, school or crazy drug habits. I don't have kids yet, I'm done with school (til I figure out which grad school is worth my time), and I am not addicted to any crazy drugs.

Since I work nights, I sleep all morning. I usually wake up between noon and 2 p.m. I make sure not to sleep all day because sunshine is important for sanity. Trust me, there was a period of time when I didn't see the sun, and customers at work even noticed I was too weird. Being a vampire isn't all that glamourous.

After I wake up, I eat my breakfast which consists of something light and meatless, like fruit, yogurt or cereal with a bottle of water. I don't smoke cigarettes or drink coffee. They are unnecessary stimulants that ultimately make me look older sooner. I am lucky I never started those habits in the first place because I have seen people try to quit and it's not pretty.

After my morning meal I stretch my leg and hip muscles so I stay flexible. In my line of work, a more flexible dancer is a better dancer than one that's not.

By the time I'm done with my stretch, it's still the afternoon, which I use to clean my apartment, go grocery shopping, read educational books that were NOT assigned to me, play video games, go out with my friends that have the afternoon off... I LOVE having the afternoons to myself, but I will admit, sometimes I'm so bored I wish I had a part time job, but I know I want to dedicate my afternoons to my next big commitment, which will have bigger returns than any day job could produce.

Once 6:30 rolls around I'm hungry for dinner so I get cookin or I go out to eat, usually the latter because I'm not the best cook, I won't lie. Seems like everyone I know thinks they are the best chef in the world.

Once I'm done eating, if it's a work night, then it's time to head to work so I can get there early and sometimes catch a good wave of cash from whats left of the early crowd. I always do better on nights I show up early, hmm imagine that.

If its not a work night I enjoy my time "repairing my soul." I am a normal girl when I leave the club. I have my own life and it's nice to leave the job at work. I have very few friends from work, which helps keep my own life from getting sucked into the bad lifestyle often associated with "strippers."

I'm actually pretty happy right now. Since I sleep at the same time every night now, it's much easier to plan ahead, my meal routine is healthier, and I'm not falling asleep during the day.

Right now life is pretty good. :)