That question comes up so much in every discussion I can think of. What is the meaning of life? What does it mean to me? Maybe it's code for "why should I care?"
Maybe the answer to that is because we gotta do something while we're breathing. We as humans desire greatness for ourselves. There are thinkers and doers that achieve that. I'm a thinker. I'm the one daydreaming when I should be working. But I'm still useful because I am the one coming up with ideas and solutions. If you need creativity, I can help.
But I can't waste my life by thinking about it! That is my personal struggle... To do the things I think about doing.
I think about being a vampy bitch to guys at the club. But I'm so used to smiling and being nice that I forget to act vampy. Hmm, I need to practice. It's easy to do on the stage. I don't feel bad when I take just one dollar. That's easy to afford. They got money, and I'm naked. Pay per view, bitches.
And I asked a guy who frequents the club why he came in all the time. He said it relaxes him. So he enjoys a lap dance the way a beer drinker enjoys a brewski. I remember I once justified a lap dance as equivalent to buying drugs. The next day you think, "damn. But I know I had fun!"
But in this industry, the pornography industry, this product is watered down sex, not the real thing, therefore not where the real money is at. And that's what it means to be a stripper. It's good for girls, not guys.
What's good for guys is real sex, in which they cum. But whores do that job, and it's good for guys, not the girls.
Having said that, I feel like I've been in this industry long enough to have it pretty much all figured out. I know what I need to do to make more money at this "profession." I have rode the line between innocent and shameless and I have to cross it if I want to have any more stories to say about it.
If I want to stay a moral chick, I gotta get into a new line of work. I definitely want this. I want to grow old and have kids one day. There is no such thing as an old prostitute. They catch something and die before that happens.
My nonstripper friends all say I'm meant for better things than lap dances and booty shaking. It's time to evolve out of that stage. I know I just gotta do it instead of talk about it. I am scared to commit to something that might fail. But why should I be? Nothing seems promising these days, especially stripping.
So it's time to look for opportunities in education and research. One thing I've also noticed from work is that I dislike stupid people. If I work in a school or a career that requires higher education, I lower my chances of working with stupid people.
Doesn't that sound awesome?