Sunday, February 10, 2013

Never forget the shoes

Tonight was a pretty good night.  I finally made some frickin money worth bragging about.

I got hungry halfway through my shift so I took a lunch break.  When I came back, I couldn't find my heels.  I thought I took them with me, but they weren't in my car.  I looked all over the dressing room and still no luck.  

I really hope some bitch didn't loot them.  There were a lot of new girls working and many of them work only a few shifts before getting fired.  A lot of them steal and never come back.

Shoes aside, the show still must go on.  I finished the night in my flip flops.  We are allowed to wear almost anything we want and I had only one guy at the stage complain, who was a total douche bag anyway.  What is wrong with looking like I just came from the beach?  Earlier, I saw him chuck a crumpled dollar bill at one of the dancers on stage so I knew he was gonna be a douche.

There were many young guys near the end of the night and I'm surprised some of them got lap dances from me.  There was a bachelor group of guys hot enough to be gay.  A couple of them were completely sold when I asked for a dance.

And my last customer was a returning one, always the best.  A college boy who waits tables.  He was a wow nerd back in the day, too.  I told you my nerd charm makes me money.

It was freaky how much he had in common with me.  I knew the juke box was about to run out of music so I knew I had control over what the club hears and what I'd be doing lap dances to.  So I dragged him over to the juke box and suggested playing Chevelle because that band has been making me wet since I was 14.

He was like, "You can't be serious.  Chevelle is my favorite band."

This was too easy.  "I own every album they've ever made."

He was too young, though.  21 was sexy when I was 18.  I'm almost 25.  Way too old.  I was fantasizing about getting an older Kevin Spacey look-alike as my bread winner before I came in tonight.  I know, I should have more realistic expectations.  

I'm honestly glad my night with people ends when the club closes, because college boy was inviting me to his hotel and I just didn't wanna have sex with him.  I remember having sex with 21-year-olds.  I think they were all bad experiences, too.  He needed to shave, shower, brush his teeth and be ten years older.  Otherwise, he would be a good buddy, but not for sex.  More like carrying me through a dungeon for my new epic weapon.

Tonight I also had an allergy fail.  Right after I got off stage, someone wanted me to dance for a cute young lady and my throat was itching bad.  I had to cough, a lot, and I was trying to hold it back, but I couldn't keep the poker face.  I excused myself to the bathroom and coughed til I almost puked, wiped down my face and got a piece of hard candy (sub for cough drop) from the men's room attendant, and got back to my lady custie.  Luckily, she was cool about it.

So yeah, I had quite the night.  Time for bed, the sun's up.