Sunday, March 16, 2014

Happy Spring Break!

God damn, it's been busy!  FUCK YEAH!

Most of the people I danced for this weekend had money to blow.  I was there to take it.  All kinds of good luck happened to overshadow any kind of contempt I had from last week.  Both nights were stellar.

Usually I don't take the time to uncrumple really tiny wadded dollars on stage, but this time I did and it turned out to be a $20 bill.  Did that just happen?  I had to look at it for a second to make sure I wasn't tripping.  I had no idea if it was thrown at me or someone else, I had no idea who threw it.  All I knew was I discovered it and no other dancers pounced me so it's mine.

Some rich old dude was living large and giving his friend unlimited lap dances with one of my coworkers and he seemed to like me so he just kept slipping twenties.  Why, money gods, can't EVERY NIGHT be like this?!

Why is March the only time people are amazingly generous?  Maybe because it's still Pisces time, and I had to make the most of my last night in my element.  Next Friday is Aries time, but I might still rake because it was good all last March until the last week.  And that was only because of Easter.  I never had any luck with good Friday.  As far as I'm concerned, that is a night to avoid.

A lot of people were celebrating St. Patrick's Day, which means they were wasted, and I don't think I did a dance for any of those dudes.  Most of them said really stupid, fucked up shit that made me want to walk the fuck away, like "eww get away."  A lot of them made the "buying a lap dance is ludicrous" face when I made the close.  I hate drunk customers most of the time.  The only time I like them is when their drunkenness makes them spend more money on me.  Other than that, I run away from drunks.

The last group of drunks I dealt with were these Brosephs that wanted to tip me on stage.  I was getting a little money skirt going with all the dollars stuffed in both sides of my panties (YES) and they kept calling me "ammo belt." When I bent over, they fell in love with my ass and kept saying ammo belt.  When they got annoying,  I went on to the other side of the stage to collect tips from other admirers and this other dancer walked over to them and started putting up with their crap.  After I got the tips from the other side, the bros wanted me to come back over, and one guy was trying to compare my ass to the other girl's, and I knew it was a game to try to get me to work harder for them, so I just laughed at them like that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard.

One guy I danced for was young and super fit.  He fell in love and I had to get expensive to get him to stop asking me to meet him outside the club and cheat on my boyfriend with him.  When he left, he forgot his phone and keys (because he was too high) and then someone else wanted me to do a dance.  I saw the hottie looking for his stuff, but he didn't check where I was, so when I finished with the other guy, I took the phone and keys and looked around the club for young hottie.  As he was about to get another lap dance, I kindly interrupted and he was so excited to see a stripper do something honest.  He actually tipped me a $20 for just bringing over his stuff.  Sweet!  I'm glad I didn't turn it into lost and found.  Who needs middlemen?

So overall, this was a great weekend.  I was very busy and didn't have to put up with too much crap, and had a lot of great, lucky moments.  Time to spend some of this money on a massage.  I've clearly earned it.