Now that I've had my shower...

I've collected more thoughts. 

I think I need therapy after witnessing all the fucked up shit at the club.  Whores, ass holes, and enablers. 

Another douche bag told me the only way I'd turn him on is if I sucked his cock.  FUCK really?!  He gets credit for being honest, but still counts as a loser to me.  That rubbed me the wrong way.  So I walked into the dressing room to collect myself and tried not to be mad.

I really wish I wasn't present for the discussion between the two women in the dressing room today.  I won't mention their names because they could get arrested for what they're doing, to say the least.  But I'm not here to tell you the least.  I'll tell you what they said. 

These women work hard but they're gross.  Straight up whores.  They did quite a few VIP rooms before 5.  One was already on her way out and the other was just gathering her dollars she just earned from her last room.  The one on her way out asked the other to come in and work with her the next day.  It was clear the other didn't want to work tomorrow.  Well, the one on her way out was on something that made her way out of her mind because she offered the other girl her condoms and some pills for coming in tomorrow to work with her. 

The other one must have been so embarrassed when her "friend" was saying all that shit out loud.  I feel bad for them because what they're doing is gross, no question.

Oh and that reminds me I should lock the door when I go to the bathroom just when I need to wash my hands.  The pole makes my hands smell metally so I usually just go to the bathroom after my stage and wash my hands and don't use the toilet.  Well, the girl on her way out, before she left, she walks into the bathroom (meant for one person) and asks if she can pee.  Honestly, I don't care as long as they don't touch me but seriously, some girls should be more shy.  Then she started talking about how sexy my ass is and how pretty I am.   

Thanks for the compliment... are you done talking? 

Then she complains to me she can't pee because I'm making her nervous...

What is this world coming to?  I understand everyone likes to get high and drunk but when will conscience ever come into play?  I know the strip club is not the place for that, but it doesn't matter.  Your conscience will be waiting for you in the car when you leave.

I know that writing this won't change anything.  I don't expect it to, but I just wish I didn't know these girls' business.  I wish these girls in the right direction, but I know some of them just don't want to be helped.  Yet deep down inside they want to be clean so bad.  But at the same time they want that pill so bad.  It just makes everything better for them.  It takes too much for them to make that change.

But what really got to me was what happened after I posted my previous entry.  I read what I posted and I thought to myself, "I do not deserve what happened today."  Then I started crying.  I know I choose to strip, but guys do these things because other girls let them so they think it's okay and it's not!

I feel like saying that in a crazy hormonal kind of way when I say that it's not okay.  Like, "It's NOT OKAY!  It's NOT!" while furiously shaking my head.

Men should never ever touch a woman like that.  Just because my co-workers are whores doesn't mean that all strippers are.  There are some girls doing this job that still have a bright future.  We should be treated like ladies because we have the guts to do this job in the first place. 

I'm a damn good entertainer and I love to put on a good show.  But douche bags really spoil the mood.  Nothing turns off women and most men more than abuse toward women. 

And I wish the management DID something about these sleazy men and these skanky whores.  It's not like they don't know these girls are complete whores.  I guess they can't prove it... but it would be really simple.  Undercover cop.  These girls are ruining my business and I want them OUT!

I need therapy.  Too bad it's not free.