Watch your mouth, racist!

I seriously do not get paid enough some nights.  This is gonna be a whiny one.

Welcome to summer, where everyone's budget tightens up tighter than a homophobe's ass hole.

Some meat head earned a nomination for this year's biggest douche bag.  This guy was tan, he looked like he did steroids, and I bugged him for a dance.  He looked at me, didn't answer me, pulled out his money clip and started peeling through his hundreds.

Ok, this whole flashing your big bills thing is so not cool unless you actually spend them.  If you don't, you're an ass hole.  He didn't even tip one dollar, so I asked him if he wanted to dance.

"You know what?" he said.

"What's that?" I replied.

"I hate niggers," he said, plain as day.

I looked around to check for black dudes.  WTF dude, do you WANT to die?

"Watch your mouth, you don't want anyone to hear that."

"I'm just saying," he shrugged and did the sheepish "not guilty" face.

Oh my Gawd!  Shake my head!  Racism is such a turn-off.  I think nigger should be the new term for racist.  It is short for "ignorant" after all.

Later I saw him at the juke box and he played Cannibal Corpse, which is the farthest thing from strip club appropriate.  He earns a troll nomination for that, too.

So besides dealing with douche bags, tonight's take home was just like last night: weak.  Everything is pretty much going toward bills.  I can't save anything.  Fuck rent week.

I'm taking the next few days for myself.  I'm gonna heal up my sore muscles.  I feel like I was breaking my back for these guys.  Someone was tossing a lot of singles on the stage but only when I got on my knees to really shake it.  Ugh, I'm not 21 anymore.  I can't bounce like I used to.  I don't know how some girls continually slam their heels on the stage.  I'd like to see a girl make it look like she slammed down into a split, but without making any obnoxious noise.  I'd make it rain for the ninja stripper.  I think ninjas are hot.

I need more dudes.  The crowds are too thin.  I think I'll have to craft my fast, slow hustle.  I need to work out more long-term deals.  Just a few of those dudes that want to do like 5 songs for $100 can really save the night.  But if I don't catch any of those big fish and I'm stuck with a few guys that only want one freakin dance, the money sucks!

I should go pick up some literature on how to master the art of persuasion.  Feel free to make a recommendation.

A more summer-like pattern

Good god the club was depressingly slow.  Welcome to summer, folks.

At least I'm not in tornado alley, what shit their weather's been this past week.  While they're getting their roofs blown off, I'm stewing in the hot, humid south, thanking the air conditioning gods.

I hate it when guys catch on to the fact all the girls are doing shitty.  They start to think it's okay that we are doing bad and want to chat me up for free.  UGHH come on, chat me up while we dance, sheesh.  Any conversation that I do for free is such a waste of time.

One guy sounded like a journalist doing a story on strip clubs, so I made sure to be as uninteresting as possible.  His first question was, "What made you start dancing?"

My super obvious answer, "Because I needed money."

He was waiting for me to expand upon that idea.

"And there is great freedom, too."

He was confused.

"I have great freedom being able to choose my schedule.  I can skip a shift without calling out sick, I can show up late or early, it doesn't matter."

Then I thought, "Enough questions, let's dance."

So I asked him for a dance and of course he "couldn't afford one."

Motherfucker.

Tonight was such hustle fail, there were NO guys, and the few that came in were cheap, dirty pigs.

I was hoping a money prince would save my night, and the one guy who I thought would be that guy ended up having to leave because of his stupid pig friends.

Every customer I danced for got my "come back soon" line.  I need guys to come in this summer.  I can't go broke, I need to pay for college again.  Fuck.  I need a new envelope for "tuition."

I'm not giving up, I'm just simply not caring about the hard times of summer.  I need to work hard.  This month of May I skipped EVERY Thursday night, and I actually didn't do that bad for the month as a whole, even with that shitty mother's day weekend.  I'm probably going to stick to only Friday and Saturday and just turn it on for those two nights and rest up every other night.  I'm too exhausted to waste my time on the weeknights.

I've been keeping up with my workouts this week.  I felt very confident with my body, and it's been getting positive attention, so that's been getting me through the tough times.  Hopefully I will have a better summer than last year.  We shall see.

Doing doubles

Tonight went well.  For most of the night, I paired up with our only Asian girl, and we danced for so many guys.  She is awesome, because her hustle is so different from mine.  I'm more subtle, and she is more aggressive so most of the time, she would pick out some guys and I'd tag along.

I'm not used to doing double dances.  I usually work alone, but I think I would enjoy working with her more.  Guys love us.  We tell them they get the best of both worlds.

And since she is Asian, I tell the guys I'm from Brazil so I'm just as exotic as her, hehe.  Most of the guys believe it, even though I don't look Brazilian at all, except for my butt.

This one couple from Venezuela said they loved my bum bum.  It's the butt lift working its magic.  :)

I'm happy I did well.  I want to work tomorrow night because it's Memorial Day on Monday, and the bouncer said it is always busy on that Sunday.  I could use a little bonus.

Bad then good

I showed up to work early like a good little stripper and it was so unbelievably dead, I considered going back home.  I thought, don't be weak, it could pick up soon.

After doing a stage set, guys were trickling in, but they were so outnumbered by all the girls ready to work, I couldn't score.  The guys weren't really quality.

So I got fed up and took my break early so I could come back early and kill it.  And that's exactly what I did.  I cleaned up as soon as I got back from break.  The crowd was much better.  Lots of dudes to make money from.

All my regulars danced with other girls tonight.  Sucks.  I don't wanna be jealous of the other girls, I just wish it was me making the money.  It isn't cool to be possessive over a customer, anyway.  But I could've done a lot better had they also danced with me tonight.

This wasn't a bad night if I disregard the horrendous early part of the night.  Ugh, I'm gonna stop going in early on Friday.

Leveling up

Yesterday was kind of surreal because I was up during the daytime.

On Sunday night, I didn't work and did some baking.  I made cookies and drank milk with them, and passed out at midnight.  I woke up four hours later, at about 4:30 a.m.

I couldn't fall back to sleep because my typical stripping pattern keeps me awake from 12-4.  I was working at that time on Friday and Saturday night, so I stayed awake during the wee hours of the morning, and watched the morning news reports.

I still couldn't fall back to sleep after 9 a.m.  So I figured I could go to school while it's still early and walk in and take care of any roadblocks with getting registered.

I say that the day felt surreal because I feel that way during my second wind.  That second wind overrides all that tired feeling I felt when trying to go back to sleep.  So does caffeine.  My school is teeming with vending machines full of caffeine-pumped beverages.  My choice of poison for that day was a Java monster energy.  There is no sleeping after knocking back a can of that rocket fuel.  

Since I drank the crank, I couldn't fall asleep even when the afternoon started sucking away that second wind.  I ended up going to a friend's house to shoot the shit, and took a 15 minute nap when I got home around 8, then stayed up til 2 a.m.  I almost couldn't go to sleep because that is when I'm working, but I knew I needed sleep and I eventually crashed out for about 12 hours.  Now I am "almost" back to normal.

So the good news is I managed to get through ALL my road blocks with school and now I have a perfect, full-time schedule for this coming fall semester.  Now the challenge is to pay for the classes.  Since I'm returning for a second degree, I'm not qualified for any grants or scholarships, which really is a drag, since I had a scholarship last time.  My only option for not paying up front is loans, and I don't want any more debt.  Interest is such a pain.

Guess it's time to shake my sweaty ass all summer long.  I should do buy one get one free lap dances. People can't say no to free.

Slow season

God, I'm feeling the slow down.  Nobody wanted to dance.  I guess the budgets were too low for us high-Rollin bitches.

I got many of my favorite lines I keep thinking of awesome rebuttals to.

"Can you hook me up with a free dance?  It's my birthday!"

NO! FUCK YOUR BIRTHDAY!

"You're so hot, I want you to be making money, just not from me."

"Well, thanks, useless hot guy.  Watch me go!"

Tonight wasn't a complete waste of time, either.  I just wanted to do better.  I guess I'll settle for average.  I get a C for tonight.

Not looking forward to the next three months.  Time to grind harder.

Workin hard

Tonight tested my patience.  All these fucking guys got in on the nice way to say no: later.

No, god dammit, not later, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

I'm tired of this shit.  All these guys are so broke.  I kept getting the tapped out excuse, but you're hot.

Nice ass, wanna come home with me?

I want to work at a new club.  Somewhere just as heavenly.  I don't have many options.  There are a lot of "step backward" clubs I could pull the new girl at for a week, but I'm not willing to take the risk.

I just want to get out of this job.  So my university accepted my app, now I'm taking the steps to getting all signed up and shit, make a good road map, and stick to the plan.  Kick some ass.

I need all the luck I can get.