I'm liking business school. It's fun to apply the concepts to stripping. Tonight wasn't a very good night to be a dancer at my club. Too many girls working and not enough guys with money. Lap dance supply heavily outweighed the lap dance demand.
Some guy tried to school me on "how to make more money" stripping. I love how guys who have never been a stripper think they know the business better than I do. He was like, "It would be better if the club did revenue sharing instead of charging you girls a flat fee." In my mind, Family Feud buzzers and big red X's are going off. No, wtf, it doesn't make sense for me to give away a cut for every dance. I'd rather start off in debt because 99% of the time I do well enough to pay the house fee. Another one of his suggestions was to spend more time building rapport and going for the weak ones, as if I don't already know. He was like, "Remember their names, ask how their day is going. They'll become your regular." I don't work at a "regular" club, so that's the worst advice. The best way to make money is to GOUGE GOUGE GOUGE, haha. I wonder if he could see me rolling my eyes.
I followed my own advice from my last post and for the most part, it worked. I got paid what I wanted from everyone I danced for. I just wish I danced for more people, but I'm glad I got what I could. Tonight wasn't that much of a headache other than the ample downtime.
May tomorrow night be busier and better. Goodnight!
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
More tips for noobs
This one is for the ladies.
You might be brand spanking new, or maybe you've been dancing for months. Either way, I'm sure these tips will benefit you in the long run, if you plan to keep dancing.
- Save your energy for the big bucks. If you haven't caught on already, doing lap dances or rooms is the way to make the most money in the shortest amount of time. Sadly, stage tips haven't gotten any bigger in the past three years.
So I say this with the hottest blood because I am FUCKING SICK of watching new dancers do this. STOP GETTING ON YOUR KNEES/SPREADING YOUR SHIT/TWERKING FOR ONE DOLLAR. Stop it. Just stop. In fact, don't do anything extra. A dollar these days is fucking pennies when it comes to actual purchasing power. You are not a god damn soda machine. The ONLY time you do something awesome on stage for someone is either for yourself or for a larger bill denomination. $1 should not motivate you at all. $5 should make you budge just a tiny bit. But really, save your energy for when you're actually getting paid. MAYBE if they're making it rain, but as soon as those dollars stop falling in front of you, stop dancing, look at them and say, "Hey, why'd you stop?"
Bwahahaha.
-Ask for a tip. I've said this before, because more times than not, you get extra just by saying it when it comes time to pay. If you do this with every customer, the bonuses add up. It becomes your bread and butter. You're not being crass or homeless. Say it like "everyone tips." Sometimes, a guy will tip too much (SCORE). But as often as that happens, sometimes the guy will ignore "plus a tip" and pay what he owes. Don't let it phase you. All you have to do is ask, it's no more effort than that.
-No matter what the price, you must tell someone who asks "how much?" the highest amount of money you can charge. Don't cut deals unless you are asked to, and don't cut deals you're not happy with. If you don't like doing 2 for $40, don't do it. (If you do 2 for less than $40, find another club, you aren't earning enough) People that only do one song are only one step above "complete time wasters." So you shouldn't feel bad making them pay premium.
-For your sanity, don't dance for the rapey guys. Most of the time, the money you receive from grabby creeper won't cover the therapy sessions you'll need after dancing for him.
Times you should RUN:
Whenever a guy asks "what can I do?"
That usually translates to, "I want to get my money's worth, so can I touch your pussy? ...can I pinch your nipples? ...I want to push the limits."
He will be a fucking headache.
Spotting time wasters: usually you can't tell until you talk to them. This is why you should always ask for a dance within 30 seconds of talking to someone. I usually don't open with "wanna dance" because my success rate isn't as high as asking someone for a dance with a quick intro right before the close.
I read something about advertising and it said that people usually turn away from anything that sounds ad-like. You must make them feel comfortable and remind them it was their idea, because it really is - why else would they come to the club?
So open with something casual, friendly and flirty.
You: "Hey, how's it going?"
Customer: "Good, you?"
You: "I'm great. Wanna go dance?"
Sometimes that's all the intro you'll need. It's not wrong to cut to the chase. You are not being pushy. If he seems hesitant, he may need some "time." The most successful dancers I've worked with have this ability to say no to "no."
It's hard to tell when he actually means no, but as time goes on, your judgment will get better. Sometimes guys need a little persuasion, but there are guys that want you to keep trying to persuade them. Remember, more than 30 seconds is too long. If he doesn't budge after that much time, chances are he won't budge for many more minutes. Don't waste them. Lap dance time is valuable. Politely excuse yourself from that loser and move on to hunting down a guy that will actually pay for your excellent lap dances.
The way I see it, if you're not doing dances or working in VIP, you're "on the shelf," which includes being on stage. Focus your energy on being "off the shelf." Don't waste time.
I tend to bash the stage only because I've been working long enough to not care about it anymore. If you're awesome on the pole and your epic stage routines yield fat tips, by all means, make that money. But your epic stage show should result in someone wanting to spend mad dough on lap dances with you. If it doesn't, ask yourself if all that twisting and turning you just did was worth it.
One last thing, and this is important. PAY YOUR TAXES! If you are paying your bills with stripper money, depositing stripper money into your bank account, it can be traced and you must claim that money as income on your federal tax return. If you are making bank, you can afford to pay taxes, but you must be diligent in setting that money aside so you don't spend it. It is a common mistake, but the world is getting better at tracking money and if you leave a paper trail, you need to be ready to explain yourself... And pay. It sucks, because often the tax expense as an independent contractor can run up to a third of your income. If you make bank, you better save some for the IRS, because it is illegal to underreport income, not file at all, or try to cheat in some way. Don't be a greedy whore. Stripping is legal income and you should be proud of yourself for being able to keep yourself straight with the IRS.
Alright, I think that's enough for now. I'll think of more later.
Ladies, hope this helps. If you're a guy, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I'm positive I'm not the only dancer who feels this way.
You might be brand spanking new, or maybe you've been dancing for months. Either way, I'm sure these tips will benefit you in the long run, if you plan to keep dancing.
- Save your energy for the big bucks. If you haven't caught on already, doing lap dances or rooms is the way to make the most money in the shortest amount of time. Sadly, stage tips haven't gotten any bigger in the past three years.
So I say this with the hottest blood because I am FUCKING SICK of watching new dancers do this. STOP GETTING ON YOUR KNEES/SPREADING YOUR SHIT/TWERKING FOR ONE DOLLAR. Stop it. Just stop. In fact, don't do anything extra. A dollar these days is fucking pennies when it comes to actual purchasing power. You are not a god damn soda machine. The ONLY time you do something awesome on stage for someone is either for yourself or for a larger bill denomination. $1 should not motivate you at all. $5 should make you budge just a tiny bit. But really, save your energy for when you're actually getting paid. MAYBE if they're making it rain, but as soon as those dollars stop falling in front of you, stop dancing, look at them and say, "Hey, why'd you stop?"
Bwahahaha.
-Ask for a tip. I've said this before, because more times than not, you get extra just by saying it when it comes time to pay. If you do this with every customer, the bonuses add up. It becomes your bread and butter. You're not being crass or homeless. Say it like "everyone tips." Sometimes, a guy will tip too much (SCORE). But as often as that happens, sometimes the guy will ignore "plus a tip" and pay what he owes. Don't let it phase you. All you have to do is ask, it's no more effort than that.
-No matter what the price, you must tell someone who asks "how much?" the highest amount of money you can charge. Don't cut deals unless you are asked to, and don't cut deals you're not happy with. If you don't like doing 2 for $40, don't do it. (If you do 2 for less than $40, find another club, you aren't earning enough) People that only do one song are only one step above "complete time wasters." So you shouldn't feel bad making them pay premium.
-For your sanity, don't dance for the rapey guys. Most of the time, the money you receive from grabby creeper won't cover the therapy sessions you'll need after dancing for him.
Times you should RUN:
Whenever a guy asks "what can I do?"
That usually translates to, "I want to get my money's worth, so can I touch your pussy? ...can I pinch your nipples? ...I want to push the limits."
He will be a fucking headache.
Spotting time wasters: usually you can't tell until you talk to them. This is why you should always ask for a dance within 30 seconds of talking to someone. I usually don't open with "wanna dance" because my success rate isn't as high as asking someone for a dance with a quick intro right before the close.
I read something about advertising and it said that people usually turn away from anything that sounds ad-like. You must make them feel comfortable and remind them it was their idea, because it really is - why else would they come to the club?
So open with something casual, friendly and flirty.
You: "Hey, how's it going?"
Customer: "Good, you?"
You: "I'm great. Wanna go dance?"
Sometimes that's all the intro you'll need. It's not wrong to cut to the chase. You are not being pushy. If he seems hesitant, he may need some "time." The most successful dancers I've worked with have this ability to say no to "no."
It's hard to tell when he actually means no, but as time goes on, your judgment will get better. Sometimes guys need a little persuasion, but there are guys that want you to keep trying to persuade them. Remember, more than 30 seconds is too long. If he doesn't budge after that much time, chances are he won't budge for many more minutes. Don't waste them. Lap dance time is valuable. Politely excuse yourself from that loser and move on to hunting down a guy that will actually pay for your excellent lap dances.
The way I see it, if you're not doing dances or working in VIP, you're "on the shelf," which includes being on stage. Focus your energy on being "off the shelf." Don't waste time.
I tend to bash the stage only because I've been working long enough to not care about it anymore. If you're awesome on the pole and your epic stage routines yield fat tips, by all means, make that money. But your epic stage show should result in someone wanting to spend mad dough on lap dances with you. If it doesn't, ask yourself if all that twisting and turning you just did was worth it.
One last thing, and this is important. PAY YOUR TAXES! If you are paying your bills with stripper money, depositing stripper money into your bank account, it can be traced and you must claim that money as income on your federal tax return. If you are making bank, you can afford to pay taxes, but you must be diligent in setting that money aside so you don't spend it. It is a common mistake, but the world is getting better at tracking money and if you leave a paper trail, you need to be ready to explain yourself... And pay. It sucks, because often the tax expense as an independent contractor can run up to a third of your income. If you make bank, you better save some for the IRS, because it is illegal to underreport income, not file at all, or try to cheat in some way. Don't be a greedy whore. Stripping is legal income and you should be proud of yourself for being able to keep yourself straight with the IRS.
Alright, I think that's enough for now. I'll think of more later.
Ladies, hope this helps. If you're a guy, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I'm positive I'm not the only dancer who feels this way.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Short shifts
I think I only worked 6 hours over the weekend. Hate me more, hard workers.
I haven't been very motivated to work late. I think getting back on the college carb and caffeine diet makes it harder to stay awake on those long work nights with just one can of red bull. I won't drink two cans. I already feel like death after drinking one. I wish my club would serve iced coffee. They need an espresso machine. I bet so many girls would be happier doing espresso shots instead of drinking red bull all night.
Anyway, I think all the customers that I saw this weekend were saving their money for turkey. I can't say I blame them, because that's my motive. So their lack of spending made it harder to make money, so I decided to not exhaust myself by staying all night. I was pretty tired both nights.
I'd like to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving, an abundance of your favorite food, killer black Friday deals so good you'll have enough cash left over to buy some lap dances on Saturday.
I haven't been very motivated to work late. I think getting back on the college carb and caffeine diet makes it harder to stay awake on those long work nights with just one can of red bull. I won't drink two cans. I already feel like death after drinking one. I wish my club would serve iced coffee. They need an espresso machine. I bet so many girls would be happier doing espresso shots instead of drinking red bull all night.
Anyway, I think all the customers that I saw this weekend were saving their money for turkey. I can't say I blame them, because that's my motive. So their lack of spending made it harder to make money, so I decided to not exhaust myself by staying all night. I was pretty tired both nights.
I'd like to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving, an abundance of your favorite food, killer black Friday deals so good you'll have enough cash left over to buy some lap dances on Saturday.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Can never run out of firsts nor broken records
First for me tonight: Some dude insulted my face. As I'm walking from my vehicle to the club entrance, a young-ish guy who was smoking said he liked my pants.
And I was just a little sweetie by smiling and saying thank you.
But he had to ruin it and say, "Yeah, they're not like your face."
I couldn't have handled it better: just kept walking. How do you respond to that?! YOU DON'T. "Fuck off, loser," is not even worth the breath nor the attention. Dissing is so desperate.
Not my favorite way to start the night. The club was fairly busy tonight.
Broken records: got a sweatpants boner man customer. It's always THEM that ask me for a dance. Just, old, ugly and gross. They really are "low-ballers." I lol'ed when he said, "yeah let's do another song, I really wanna release this time." Fucking cheap perverts don't motivate me to make them cum with their awful haggling.
A lot of people complimented my ass. Apparently my secret blend of carbs and exercise keep it firm yet full and the "nice ass" record broken.
Another broken record is the stinkiness. Some dude I apparently ambushed upon his strip club arrival (couldn't just be a coincidence I was the first girl to talk to him) had the nastiest breath and wouldn't stop talking and trying to put his sweaty hands on my ass. Now that I write this, I realize he was part of the drunk crowd who probably had a shit load of drinks and blow. No WONDER he was so annoying! Ok, story's over, you know what ends up happening. I get fed up with their stupid, time-wasting chatter and bug for a dance in a negative way so he says no and I can seamlessly get the fuck away from him. Just, ew, ew, ew.
Aside from all that bullshit, the money made it worth it, so it's no worries.
And I was just a little sweetie by smiling and saying thank you.
But he had to ruin it and say, "Yeah, they're not like your face."
I couldn't have handled it better: just kept walking. How do you respond to that?! YOU DON'T. "Fuck off, loser," is not even worth the breath nor the attention. Dissing is so desperate.
Not my favorite way to start the night. The club was fairly busy tonight.
Broken records: got a sweatpants boner man customer. It's always THEM that ask me for a dance. Just, old, ugly and gross. They really are "low-ballers." I lol'ed when he said, "yeah let's do another song, I really wanna release this time." Fucking cheap perverts don't motivate me to make them cum with their awful haggling.
A lot of people complimented my ass. Apparently my secret blend of carbs and exercise keep it firm yet full and the "nice ass" record broken.
Another broken record is the stinkiness. Some dude I apparently ambushed upon his strip club arrival (couldn't just be a coincidence I was the first girl to talk to him) had the nastiest breath and wouldn't stop talking and trying to put his sweaty hands on my ass. Now that I write this, I realize he was part of the drunk crowd who probably had a shit load of drinks and blow. No WONDER he was so annoying! Ok, story's over, you know what ends up happening. I get fed up with their stupid, time-wasting chatter and bug for a dance in a negative way so he says no and I can seamlessly get the fuck away from him. Just, ew, ew, ew.
Aside from all that bullshit, the money made it worth it, so it's no worries.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Wide spectrum
Tonight wasn't too bad. I danced for a lot of guys, and they can be classified as "guys I loved dancing for" and "guys I hated dancing for," but not many guys in between.
If there are any men reading this who like lap dances, a bit of advice, and it may not apply to you, but some of these men that come to the club do NOT know how to touch a woman by any stretch of the imagination... My poor titties...
DO NOT HONK MY TITS WTF YOU FUCKING PIG! Quit squeezing them like they are made of pizza dough... That is what my butt cheeks are for, not HITTING. I hate guys that slap my ass and actually think I like it. I wish I could return ass slaps with face punches.
On the bright side, there were a few guys who were handsome, perfect gentlemen and tipped generously. Only when I get these guys I think to myself, "Ah, I love my job," especially when they're guys that can obviously get laid for free if they just went to a normal bar.
I hope tomorrow goes better. Less rapey guys would be nice, lap dance gods, and more of those generous handsome guys that don't try to cross the line.
If there are any men reading this who like lap dances, a bit of advice, and it may not apply to you, but some of these men that come to the club do NOT know how to touch a woman by any stretch of the imagination... My poor titties...
DO NOT HONK MY TITS WTF YOU FUCKING PIG! Quit squeezing them like they are made of pizza dough... That is what my butt cheeks are for, not HITTING. I hate guys that slap my ass and actually think I like it. I wish I could return ass slaps with face punches.
On the bright side, there were a few guys who were handsome, perfect gentlemen and tipped generously. Only when I get these guys I think to myself, "Ah, I love my job," especially when they're guys that can obviously get laid for free if they just went to a normal bar.
I hope tomorrow goes better. Less rapey guys would be nice, lap dance gods, and more of those generous handsome guys that don't try to cross the line.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Aren't you worried about stalkers?
Whenever I talk to "outsiders" they ask me this whenever I tell them what my night job is. By outsiders, I mean people outside the strip club industry.
My answer is, "well duh!"
There are several controls that can be implemented in every stripper's trek home after a long night of leading on horny men.
1. Dancers get walked to their rides when they exit the club. Side note for dancers reading this: if your club does not provide this service QUIT WORKING THERE AND FIND A CLUB THAT DOES. Bitches get robbed and kidnapped without this control set in place.
2. If you drive home after midnight, it's relatively easy to spot someone following you home. Even in crowded cities, the roads clear up after midnight. So dancers, keeping your eyes peeled and having your cell phone handy solves the stalker problem. Make a detour to the police station if you don't feel safe. Don't stop any place that requires you to get out of the car. Don't get gas or cigarettes, but drive-thru munchies are alright.
3. Whenever I talk to customers, to build rapport we sometimes ask each other little small talk questions and share a little personal info. Whenever someone asks me where I LIVE, I do not answer truthfully. I say I live somewhere that will send any stalker on a wild goose chase. NO customer needs that info, so they'll never get it. It's critical to personal safety to exercise extreme caution whenever someone wants you to talk about yourself.
Those are the main controls I implement. There are several more but I won't disclose that on the stalker-subscribed Internet.
Goodnight y'all!
My answer is, "well duh!"
There are several controls that can be implemented in every stripper's trek home after a long night of leading on horny men.
1. Dancers get walked to their rides when they exit the club. Side note for dancers reading this: if your club does not provide this service QUIT WORKING THERE AND FIND A CLUB THAT DOES. Bitches get robbed and kidnapped without this control set in place.
2. If you drive home after midnight, it's relatively easy to spot someone following you home. Even in crowded cities, the roads clear up after midnight. So dancers, keeping your eyes peeled and having your cell phone handy solves the stalker problem. Make a detour to the police station if you don't feel safe. Don't stop any place that requires you to get out of the car. Don't get gas or cigarettes, but drive-thru munchies are alright.
3. Whenever I talk to customers, to build rapport we sometimes ask each other little small talk questions and share a little personal info. Whenever someone asks me where I LIVE, I do not answer truthfully. I say I live somewhere that will send any stalker on a wild goose chase. NO customer needs that info, so they'll never get it. It's critical to personal safety to exercise extreme caution whenever someone wants you to talk about yourself.
Those are the main controls I implement. There are several more but I won't disclose that on the stalker-subscribed Internet.
Goodnight y'all!
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Everyone is trying to fuck me
Good god, what a strange night.
Ass hole tried to rip me off, couple snuck pictures of my ass with no permission, and I got propositioned by like every guy I danced for tonight.
I almost want to work at some other club. Maybe I need a change. I don't want to change, I'm comfortable, but I'm just not excited about stripping sometimes.
Lucky me working two nights a week allows me to miss it during the week, so the energy makes up for my "checked-out" attitude. And sometimes I just enjoy my job, and I am a happy stripper.
Despite all the bullshit, because there was a lot, and I'll spare you some tonight. I got that extra hour and I used it up. I got to work late and make money til the end. Fuck yeah.
Now the sun is up. Before 7. Later, DST. See ya next spring.
Lately I've been scoring high on my academics, and that makes me happier than stripping. Yay real life!
Another thought: there was a lot of bitching in the dressing room tonight. Like, more than usual. Go figure, it's rent week.
Goodnight, have a lovely day.
Ass hole tried to rip me off, couple snuck pictures of my ass with no permission, and I got propositioned by like every guy I danced for tonight.
I almost want to work at some other club. Maybe I need a change. I don't want to change, I'm comfortable, but I'm just not excited about stripping sometimes.
Lucky me working two nights a week allows me to miss it during the week, so the energy makes up for my "checked-out" attitude. And sometimes I just enjoy my job, and I am a happy stripper.
Despite all the bullshit, because there was a lot, and I'll spare you some tonight. I got that extra hour and I used it up. I got to work late and make money til the end. Fuck yeah.
Now the sun is up. Before 7. Later, DST. See ya next spring.
Lately I've been scoring high on my academics, and that makes me happier than stripping. Yay real life!
Another thought: there was a lot of bitching in the dressing room tonight. Like, more than usual. Go figure, it's rent week.
Goodnight, have a lovely day.
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